The Relationship Cure By Joan Declaire Analysis

As humans it is a common thing to communicate with others in fact it’s a big part of our lives. We use communication to share thoughts, feelings, and information. That being the case it is crucial that communication goes well. In “The Relationship Cure,” a writing by John Gottman and Joan DeClaire they talk about communication and it made me realize that I often don't notice people bidding for my attention.
John Gottman and Joan DeClaire talk about how sharing emotional information can help people feel connected and is essential for improving any significant relationship. Gottman addresses any single expression that says, “I want to feel connected to you” as a bid. They talk about how one responds to a bid with a positive or negative response.They …show more content…
Communication is essential and when it's missing or isn't being used correctly it can damage a relationship. Gottman used the word bid, as I read about bidding all that came to mind was “What’s so great about bidding?” It seemed like something simple and easy so I was taken by surprise how something simple is actually complex. You see reading about the process of bidding how for every bid there is a response I started analyzing my relationships and realized how many times I have dismissed a bid or gone about bidding wrong. Often times I ignore people I think that they are just being annoying and I respond negatively to their bids. This made me realize that being aware of bidding is important because it will help me communicate with others better. This reading really made me analyze in particular my relationship with my siblings since it has been damaged by me responding negatively to their bids. You see my siblings will come to me and and annoy me, well that's at least how I use to interpret it but now I see they are just bidding for my attention and giving them a few minutes of my time won't hurt anyone. Gottman uses an analogy about bricks of a house and how they are important and fundamental for the home in the same way there is a bid and a response to that bid and it can either strengthen a relationship or deteriorate its structure. This is a great way to demonstrate the power of bidding. I think that when one knows and understands the bidding process you’ll be able to read bids and respond to them accordingly and I think that would be a good skill to have since it would help you make better