Principles Of Interpersonal Relationships

Principles of interpersonal relationships

Introduction

In today’s competitive world, we all the time have to be aware that how we communicate with everyone whom we meet and we must create a favourable impression on the mind of the other person. It is with this season, that this particular skill takes a very important place in our life style. If we want to be successful, we have to have very good relations with all those with whom we come in contact. This presentation is going to outline the principles of interpersonal relationship, but beforehand key term will be defined

Definition of terms

The basic principles of interpersonal relationship accepted by most authorities in the field of social psychology and relationship science are described as follows:
1. The study of interpersonal relationship involves several branches of social sciences including such disciplines as sociology, psychology, anthropology and social work.
2. Interpersonal skills are extremely vital when trying to develop a relationship with another person.
3. Interpersonal relationships are dynamic systems that change continuously during their existence. Like living organisms, relationships have a beginning, a lifespan and an end.
4. All relationships are governed by Levinger model, a model developed by George Levinger to describe heterosexual, adult romantic relationships. According to the model, natural development of a relationship follows five stages:
(a) Acquaintance/Acquaintanceship- becoming acquainted depends on previous relationships, physical proximity, first impressions and other factors. If two people begin to like each other, continued interactions may lead to the next stage, but acquaintance can continue indefinitely.
(b) Build-up – During this stage people begin to trust and care about each other. The need for intimacy, compatibility and such filtering agents as common background and goals will influence whether or not interaction continues.
(c) Continuation: This follows a mutual commitment to quit a strong and close long-term friendship, or even manage. It is generally long, relative stable period. Nevertheless, continued growth and development will occur during this time. Mutual trust is important to sustain the relationship.
(d) Deterioration: Not all relationships deteriorate, but those that tend to show signs of trouble, boredom, resentment and dissatisfaction may occur, an individual may communicate less and avoid self-disclosure. Loss of trust and betrayals may take place as the downward spiral continuous deterioration may eventually end the relationship.
(e) Termination: The final stage marks the end of the relationship, either by break-up, death, or by spatial separation for quite some time and severing all existing ties of either friendship or romantic cure.
5. The list of interpersonal skills needed for healthy and positive relationship include:
Verbal communication - what we say and how we say it.
Non-verbal communication – what we communicate without words, body language is an example.
Listening skills – How we interpret both the verbal and non-verbal messages sent by others.
Negotiation- working with others to find a mutually agreeable outcome.
Problem- solving – Working with others to identify, define and solve problems.
Decision making: Exploring and analysing options to make sound decisions.
Assertiveness – Communicating our values ideas, beliefs, opinions, needs and wants, freely.

6. Healthy relationships are built on a foundation of secure attachment. Secure attachment models represent an internal set of expectations and preferences regarding the intimacy that guide behaviour.
Characteristics of Relationship: They include Goals. These are mutual support goals, problem solving goals, individual growth in the relationship goals, structural goals, financial goals, and family goals. These are meant to be pillars holding the whole water front of relationships. Mutual Support goals:
i) to nurture one another ii) To communicate with one another iii) To determine how independent of each other iv) Openness
v) The length or duration of the relationship vi) vi)What extreme to take when the relationship grows cold vii) How pleasurable will the relationship be viii) How much can people be allowed or included in the relationship ix) Without affecting the support for each other.

Problem Solving Goals:
a. How to approach problems in the relationship
b. What will be the problem solving model to be adopted?
c. How to tolerate each other
d. How to fight or quarrel
e. How to handle such fights and resolution strategies
f. When to seek third party’s involvement
g. How to encourage each other to be good problem solver

Individual Growth in the Relationship:
i) How to ensure mutual growth in the relationship. ii) How open will taking joint and individual responsibility of the relationship’s needs. iii) How to use the unique and individual personalities to assist each other. iv) What steps to take if any of the partners need mental health assistance
v) What steps to take to handle jealousy or a sense competition vi) How to help each to have pleasure in the relationship

Structural goals:
1. Arranging for schedules to pursue specific and individual interests
2. Level of freedom allowed to pursue the interests
3. Commitment to settling long-term relationship goals
4. Right placing the position of religion, hobbies, sports and any other outdoor interests.

Financial Goals:
1. What career goals do each have, should be discussed.
2. How are to promote each other’s career
3. Who pays the bills
4. How to pay for wants or luxuries
5. Agreements on insurance, savings, investments, retirement and so on. Family Goals:
1. How to handle the role of in-laws
2. How many children should they have and at what intervals
3. How to fit the children into the relationship without losing the commitment for each other.
4. How to educate the children
5. How to be functional as parents
6. How the children will not affect the pleasure timings. Attitudes:
They have a powerful influence on behaviour. Attitude is a relatively enduring organization of beliefs, feelings and behavioural tendencies. It is an expression of favour or disfavour towards a person, place, thing or event.

Behaviour:
It is a range of actions and mannerisms exhibited by a person.
Relationships are activated through Communication. Relationships are used to mould people to adapt and adjust to situations affecting each other.

Relationships are transitory:
a) Deep
b) Moderate
c) Casual
d) Passing

7. Lastly is the principle of Confucianism, which means that an individual knows his place in the social order and plays his or her part well. For instance, juniors are considered in the principle of Confucianism as owing their seniors, reverence and the seniors have their duties to benevolence and concern towards their juniors.

VALUES OF INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS The values of interpersonal relationship include the following:
1. Knowing and being known- seeking to understand the partner.
2. Making relationship – enhancing attributions for behaviours, giving the benefit of the doubt.
3. Accepting and respecting empathy and social skills.
4. Maintaining reciprocity- active participation in relationship enhancement.
5. Continuity in minding and persisting in mindfulness.
Sternberg (1999) theorizes that love is a mix of three components (1)
Passion or physical attraction (2) Intimacy or feelings of closeness and (3) commitment, involving the decision to initiate and sustain a relationship.

The presence of all these three components characterizes consummated love, which is the most durable type of love. In addition, the presence of intimacy and passion in marital relationship predicts marital satisfaction.
Again, effective communication in the work place, is fully attained as there is improved interpersonal communication through empathizing with the speaker, maintaining interest, postponing evaluation, organizing information, showing one’s interest and providing feedback. Thus communication in the work place must be credible, trustworthy, persuasive and physically attractive.

Formation of Interpersonal Relationships
These stages of help in the formation of inter relationships.
i) Awareness ii) Acquaintance iii) Ground-breaking iv) Rapport building
v) Exploration that is, a) Seeking information and b) Giving information vi) Negotiation vii) Self-disclosure which involves: a) Formation of bond b) Reduced need for further testing Identification a) Efforts made to determine the partner’s needs
b) Efforts made to meet the partner’s needs viii) Breakdown

Techniques of Interpersonal Relationships
i) Avoid criticism and condemnation of other people ii) Don’t complain about people iii) Resolve conflict iv) Communicate clearly
v) Appreciate people vi) Display sense of humour vii) Attend to your problem and others too viii) Smile at people ix) Demonstrate genuineness in your interaction with other
x) people xi) Demonstrate attentiveness and good listening xii) Show others that they are important xiii) Admit your guilt or fault xiv) Manage your anger xv) Suggest to people what to do. Do not enforce xvi) Understand other people’s feelings xvii) Understand your feelings too xviii) Synchronize cooperatively xix) Act authentically xx) Acknowledge generously xxi) Feel empathetically CONCLUSION
Interpersonal relationship activities should therefore be based on the continuous need for improved interpersonal relationship at home, social groups and work place. This background has prepared you for the next unit where you will read about how to avoid the pitfalls of negative human relationships.