Two Mothers Are Better Than One

“I am a sixth-generaton Iowan and an engineering student at the University of Iowa and I was raised by two women. My biological mom, Terry, told her grandparents that she was pregnant, that the artificial insemination had worked, and they wouldn’t even acknowledge it. It wasn’t until I was born and they succumbed to my infantile cuteness that they broke down and told her that were thrilled to have another grandson. Unfortunately, neither of them lived to see her marry her partner Jackie of 15 years when they wed in 2009... I guess the point is our family really isn’t so different from any other Iowan family. You know, when I’m home we go to church together, we eat dinner, we go on vacations.” “I was raised by a gay couple, and I’m doing well. I scored in the 99th percentile on the A.C.T., I’m actually an eagle scout. I own and operate my own small business. If I was your son, I believe I’d make you proud (Zack Wahls).” Having two mothers that are in an intimate relationship has no affect on you as Zach Wahls tried to say. In fact it is proven that having homosexual female parents is better than having heterosexual parents Lesbian parents provide a more supportive environment for their children enhancing their understanding of society and performance in school compared to children of heterosexual parents. There are many negative criticisms of homosexual parenting that are mainly influenced from religious beliefs or teachings from their parents. Religious groups that are against homosexuality would say having parents that are lesbians is an abomination. Many groups are from the Abrahamic religions where Jesus, Muhammad, or other known prophets are quoted in religious texts where they’re against homosexuality. They try to state that homosexuality is wrong and that it is a mental illness that has no cure but the religion. In 1975 it was established that homosexuality is not a mental illness of any sort. It did not apply to impairment in judgment, stability, reliability, or general social or vocational capabilities (American Psychiatric Association). These religious groups try to prevent children ending up in a homosexual led household by taking away their rights away and heckling them. Lesbian’s in a relationship looking to have or adopt children go through great struggles because of these religious criticisms and belief that they’re mentally ill. Lesbian couples looking to adopt or artificially inseminate go through many different challenges that a married heterosexual couple wouldn’t have to. Adoption laws in the United States are a touchy subject when it comes to lesbians adopting. Many states don’t allow adoptions by unmarried couples which takes out the right for same-sex couples to adopt since it’s also illegal for them to marry. There are ways to adopt and get around the law but it is difficult. One that already has custody of a child from a past spouse can have their partner also take custody. This allows for a form of adoption but it isn’t the most common way. Not being able to adopt leads to artificial insemination which is better for the child. Parenting within same-sex female couples is usually planned. The future parents would plan for their children by raising money, making space, and preparing for the child to enter their lives. This allows for a much better environment for the child to enter than a pregnancy that was unexpected and having to prepare in nine months. The parents that planned for the child is also a lot more committed to the child that those that are unexpected. Studies say lesbian couples parenting awareness skills are stronger than those of heterosexual parents indicating better parenting (Lesbians and Gay Men as Parents). This is a result of having religious groups putting down homosexual parents. Others get it from their parents teaching them that homosexuality is wrong. Even though sometimes it is not done directly it’s embedded into the children minds with having gender roles. It’s embedded with the toys they get with and the cartoons they watch. For example a girl is told that she needs to grow up to be a housewife by having baby dolls and kitchens to play with. A boy is told he needs to be tough and the provider with toys of war and cars. It is never explained to them that it’s okay to pick which ever gender role they want and to not follow the ones that society has prescribed to them. Lesbians parents would provide a much more supportive environment that helps their children understand society. The mothers already have created an open-minded environment by being a same-sex couple that allows for their children to ask. Children come home with questions after being bullied or questioned by their peers or adults of why they have two mothers. The children are usually ostracized in society just for being the child of lesbian parents. In their schools they are often called out and bullied for it. Nothing is really done about it because majority of the people have the mentality of homosexuality being wrong. It’s a slow process that society has to go through to understand it is not wrong. A first step would be the legalization of same-sex marriage which would lower the bullying in schools. Many homophobic groups would say that if same-sex marriage was recognized as families, schools would be forced to teach that homosexual families are normal (Growing up with a Lesbian Family). The legalization of same-sex marriage wouldn’t force schools to teach it is normal, it would simply get rid of that homophobic environment and end bullying. A study called the National Lesbian Longitudinal Lesbian Family Study (NLLFS) was done on families that have same-sex female parents and the results were contrary to what was expected. The NLLFS adolescents demonstrated higher levels of social, school/academic, and total competence than gender-matched normative samples of American teenagers (Children raised by Lesbian parents found more socially and academically competent that their peers). The high levels of social activity were the causes to the high grades. It’s also known in these studies that the parents are more understanding and supportive of decisions made by their children than straight parents. Having an open-minded environment that doesn’t teach hate is a good one. The children would grow up without hating certain groups of people. Many argue that having same-sex parents would influence the children to be homosexuals when they grow up. There is no evidence that support the idea that a parents sexual orientation affect the children sexual orientation of gender identity during childhood or adult hood in any way (Marriage and Child Wellbeing, 103). This is an argument is always brought up by people that are against same-sex parenting. With all of the human advancement we have learned sexual orientation is more to the genetics than the environment one grows up in (Children Raised by Lesbian Parents Do Just Fine). Homosexuality is not something that can be taught to a child. Two mothers create an environment where the children can openly talk about anything without being yelled at. This sort of supportive environment the children grow up in allows for academic progression. Poor grades and bad social behaviors are high consistent effects on children from parental divorce and break ups (American Psychological Association). Lesbian couples with children have a less tendency of divorce and break-ups compared to married and unmarried straight couples with children. The children in the homosexual led homes don’t experience as often what the children of heterosexuals do. This results in having children of lesbian parents having a better academic and behavioral history. Divorce between heterosexual marriages have a high rate in the United States. Many parents don’t realize the full effect of divorce on their children until after official separation. For girls, self-esteem is tremendously affected. Boys seem to experience greater disruption with academic performance and an increase in aggressive behaviors. It is important for parents to encourage their children to express their needs and be a part of family decisions, which isn‘t done as often as it is in lesbian led families (Divorce - How it affects the Child). The supportive environment that lesbian parents provide for their children helps them understand society better and it boosts up their academic progression more than children of straight parents. Contrary to popular belief it is proven through research that homosexual female parenting is better than heterosexual parenting.