Texting & Driving Satire

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THIS JUST IN!!! Oak Ridge highways considered most dangerous roads in all of Southeast Missouri. “Why is this?” do you ask. Well, when that bell rings at 3:13 Oak Ridge becomes a living hell. All students hit the roads ready to get home in a hurry. Oh that’s all fine and dandy except there is just one problem. They have cell phones, and they are texting at this very moment while you are meeting them in the other lane. It is a scary thought, I know. One of the main reasons kids text and drive is because they think that when that phone rings they have to stop whatever they are doing and answer the text. But answering Sally’s text saying Susie is dating Anthony can wait. It is not worth causing a ten car pile, because you were texting and you swerve into oncoming traffic. In turn causing multiple deaths and fiery explosions. Some kids have problems keeping their car on the road. When asked about this dilemma, one experienced motorist said, “That one day I was coming over that hill over there and I swear a kid was texting and driving, he was in my lane too. I didn’t know what to do so I took the ditch. That kid just kept on a goin’. He never even saw what was happening.” That just goes to show how focused kids are on texting and driving. Another reason kids text in drive could be out of boredom. Whatever happened to looking at the landscape and the wildlife? I guess flying down the road at 60 miles per hour isn’t fun enough. That is the main reason I drive more than I should. It’s a shame that kids can’t even be satisfied with the surrounding world. One solution to texting and driving is to just pull over and text what needs to be said. Yes, this is an inconvenience, but you cannot run off the road or hit someone while sitting still. Maybe walking is your thing, or maybe not. Regardless, you better get you a good pair of walking shoes. That is, if you are able to walk after crashing and being drug out of your car. Texting and driving is just not worth it. That...
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