Pregnancy Satire

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Aditya Dalal
English II H, E-Block
Mr. Wyatt
February 9, 2012

Sixteen and Pregnant
“The United States has the highest rates of teen pregnancy and births in the western industrialized world. Teen pregnancy costs the United States at least $7 billion annually” (“Teen Pregnancy”). Based on these statistics, high schoolers often enjoy unprotected sex. However, teenagers are not even close to being mature enough for the responsibility of raising a child. It is not an age issue, but a mental one, since teenagers do not realize that if protection is not used, they are simply asking for a baby. Teens do not bother thinking about the repercussions, and therefore, are missing out on life’s opportunities, including college, and a social life. Since parental wrath and abuse has not worked as a solution thus far, I propose to strike against teen pregnancy in a way that punishes the mother, father, and also the baby. Enumerating the consequences will assure the drastic drop of unprotected, premarital sex in the United States, since these repercussions will dissuade other teenagers from making the same mistake. While shopping in a Duane Reade Pharmacy in New York City, an attractive, pregnant, fifteen-year-old walked into the store with her boyfriend, in search for diapers. Looking at the distressed, young family, I realized that beauty is the main reason why girls tempt teen boys into having sex. This realization proved that teenagers are more dim-witted and sexually active than ever, which is not a safe combination. They think they are ready for what might follow the pleasure of having sex, but only fall into a dilemma of raising their own child, and then realizing that they were not ready for such a responsibility. In order to stop teenage girls from thinking that sex will benefit them, my scheme involves shaving their long, gorgeous hair and eyebrows monthly, to the point where they look as ugly as a naked mole rat. Not only will teenage girls that...
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