Dr. Marcus Tanner
Liberty Baptist Theological Seminary
In Partial fulfillment
Of the requirements for the course
PACO 500 Introduction to Pastoral Counseling
Petersen, James C.2007. Why don’t we listen better? Communicating and connecting in relationships. Tigard, OR: Petersen Publications.
James Petersen (2007) uses five parts to describe the talking and listening to help us process a better way of communicating and understanding each other. They are provided to help us connect in our relationships with others. According to Petersen, most of us think we listen well, but we don’t. Not really hearing what others have to say, can be costly to relationships and how people feel toward one another. In Part One, Petersen creates a “Flat Brain Theory of Emotions” that explains how our mind works and what goes on with it to make us act the way we do and in the manner we communicate to others. “In my experience, understanding how this mixture of thinking and feeling affects us and our relationships goes a long way towards reducing our clashes and disconnections. It gives clues about how to communicate our concerns and how to listen so others can calm down, think, and act more clearly” (11). In Part Two, Petersen uses his creative cards for helping the communication process. The point of the cards is to help us become better listeners and taking turns listening and talking. It is important to listen first thoroughly before talking to others. “If you listen while the other person talks, you not only get a clearer picture of what the other is saying, but you gain time in the back of your mind to figure out what you think-before it’s your turn to talk”(58). This way you can respond with a genuine answer because you really listened to what the person had to say. Part Three gives basic techniques of...