Monologue Simple Things 
Simple Things
ACT 1 SCENE 5
Valentina is in her early 20s, sitting in bed in her “quiet room” with the lights off and curtains drawn, flicking through TV channels absent-mindedly. She is running her fingers round the top of her wine glass and staring at her ice-cream tub in between her legs.
He was so useless, I did almost everything for him and he didn’t even realise, I will tell him “Babe, could you please iron this handkerchief?”
He’d say “where is the iron” (Lowers voice to imitate him)
Obviously he knows but he’s just being an idiot. I say, “In the laundry room”
He goes, (Lowers voice) “Why is the iron so far?” with this stupid gormless look on his face which pretty much means, Val you just do it. Then again because I don’t want him to fuss about it I end up doing it. He’s so goddamn stubborn.
(Stands up while holding glass and tapping her cheek)
It’s funny how loads of other people would say ‘I am gonna get married’ or that ‘I love him so much’ and I always thought to myself, Hmm… yeah that may end up happening . I can’t even remember how we met. Oh yeah, Teni introduced us! Did she? Yeah she did. I don’t remember how it ended up us talking. Well I’ll just blame it on the alcohol because from what I remember he had a tiny head which made me chuckle every now and then and… oh yeah… he had tiny fingers.
(falls back on the bed)
Anyway that’s irrelevant now. What I do resent though, I mean the thing I really, really hate him for is lying to me. He promised me so much. See look there’s another thing – manipulative… all the time in arguments he’d say (lowers voice)… “You need to sort yourself out, you’re an alcoholic, you have issues, you’re a mess and it’s not fair on the ones that love you!” and all that bull
And every time I screamed in my head, NO! NO! NO! It’s you! Don’t you realise? You’re the problem! You can’t do anything, you never cuddle me, remind me that you love me talk less of ironing a bloody handkerchief! How can someone be so useless? Pathetic
ACT 1 SCENE 5
Valentina is in her early 20s, sitting in bed in her “quiet room” with the lights off and curtains drawn, flicking through TV channels absent-mindedly. She is running her fingers round the top of her wine glass and staring at her ice-cream tub in between her legs.
He was so useless, I did almost everything for him and he didn’t even realise, I will tell him “Babe, could you please iron this handkerchief?”
He’d say “where is the iron” (Lowers voice to imitate him)
Obviously he knows but he’s just being an idiot. I say, “In the laundry room”
He goes, (Lowers voice) “Why is the iron so far?” with this stupid gormless look on his face which pretty much means, Val you just do it. Then again because I don’t want him to fuss about it I end up doing it. He’s so goddamn stubborn.
(Stands up while holding glass and tapping her cheek)
It’s funny how loads of other people would say ‘I am gonna get married’ or that ‘I love him so much’ and I always thought to myself, Hmm… yeah that may end up happening . I can’t even remember how we met. Oh yeah, Teni introduced us! Did she? Yeah she did. I don’t remember how it ended up us talking. Well I’ll just blame it on the alcohol because from what I remember he had a tiny head which made me chuckle every now and then and… oh yeah… he had tiny fingers.
(falls back on the bed)
Anyway that’s irrelevant now. What I do resent though, I mean the thing I really, really hate him for is lying to me. He promised me so much. See look there’s another thing – manipulative… all the time in arguments he’d say (lowers voice)… “You need to sort yourself out, you’re an alcoholic, you have issues, you’re a mess and it’s not fair on the ones that love you!” and all that bull
And every time I screamed in my head, NO! NO! NO! It’s you! Don’t you realise? You’re the problem! You can’t do anything, you never cuddle me, remind me that you love me talk less of ironing a bloody handkerchief! How can someone be so useless? Pathetic