The word trust in the dictionary is defined as being “a) firm belief in the honesty, reliability, etc. of another; faith” I agree 100%; however, in my experience, it can be quite difficult to hold onto. Just when you think you have it, it slips right through your fingers. Trust can be like a blanket fresh from the dryer; warm and cozy, or it can be frigid and harsh; like a blizzard in the dead of winter. In some instances, it may not exist at all. When I was younger, back in grade school, I remember attempting to stay up on Christmas Eve every year, just to catch a glimpse of the infamous Santa; never making it past 8 or 9, of course. Years came and went, and even though I never actually saw him in the flesh, I knew he existed. Trust was something I was never conscious of; I just felt it. There wasn’t a time when I sensed the need to question anything; nothing beyond the norm of a child’s imagination. The assurance I received from those around me was sufficient enough. To say I was naïve would be an understatement, but it was to be expected at that age. I didn’t have a care in the world. There was comfort in trust. However, with age came insecurities. For instance, I remember having to relocate to Raleigh for my dad’s job during my 1st semester of 7th grade. The disruptiveness it caused in my seemingly predictable life upset me greatly; the wound never fully healing. It made me question choices being made; unsure of where they would lead me or how they would leave me feeling. Trust had become instability. In addition, I recall a time when my family & I had to be out of our house within 48 hours; no warning, no explanation given. This incident left me feeling abandoned & confused. No longer was I able to rely on anyone, not even myself. The dependability I once had was gone. Trust no longer remained.
You would think after dealing with so much mistrust, there wouldn’t be anything left; yet time and time again I found myself smack dab in the...
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