Starbucks Essay

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Help Us Overthrow the Tall/Short Mafia
at Starbucks Coffee
by Tom Magliozzi
Our New Year's Resolution this year involves Starbucks Coffee. Now as good as their coffee is, they have unnecessarily complicated my life and probably everyone else's life, too. I'm not even going to deal with the fact that they make you choose between a million different kinds of coffee, like decaf, macchiato, Americano, skinny, ice, mocha, latte, schmatte, and all that stuff. We'll deal with that problem another time. Today, I want to deal with their ridiculous size-related nomenclature. And I want to tell you what WE can do to wipe it off the face of the earth. Keep reading, because this "resolution" includes an exciting call to action that we can ALL participate in. Remember the old days, when you asked for a cup of coffee and someone would say, "Large or small?" Well, apparently, "large" and "small," weren't good enough for Starbucks. Noooooo. So they come out with "short" and "tall." That's pretentious, but it's not the end of the world. If it had stopped there, I wouldn't be asking the entire Car Talk Nation to rise up and join me in my Coffee Action today. So what went wrong? Well, suddenly, "tall" becomes "medium." So if you ask for a "tall," you get a "medium." Well, I didn't want a "medium." I wanted TALL! Tall is what!? BIG! TALL! Right?? It turns out they've introduced a new size...above "tall." "Grande!" So now "grande" is large, "tall" is medium, and "short" is small. You following me? Then they add a whole 'nother group of drinks, for which there is an even LARGER size than "grande." Now, in some drink categories, you can get a "vente!" That's apparently Italian for "humongous." And to make matters worse, you can't get a "short" in that category, so "tall" becomes "small!" I went in and asked for a "tall," and I got the smallest thing on the menu! And I'm sick of it!!! Sick I say! |

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