Getting Past No
Getting Past No
Mario Alberto Aguirre
Negotiations take place every day, everywhere. We all are negotiators, some of us good and some of us not that good. But we all want to have a yes for an answer.
Whether in business situations, couple matters, family discussions or daily interactions, we all are exposed constantly to negotiations. And these negotiations define the path of our lives, so we’d better be good at them.
People see negotiations as demanding and stressing confrontations, and often see only two paths: being too soft, compromising solutions and giving in; or being too hard, damaging relationships and loosing other people’s friendship.
But what people don’t often see is a third choice, jointly problems solution, a combination of both soft and hard approaches used to focus on interests rather than positions. These jointly solutions produce the best results for both parties, reduce time and energy consumption, and drive better work relationships.
However this is easier to say than to do, and we will face obstacles, five of them:
1. Your reaction. The good thing is that this one depends upon you. When we are under attack we react instinctively. This instinct-based reaction usually is a counterattack or giving in, in the first one both sides lose one and in the second one you lose. Therefore we should look for a mind-based response. 2. Others emotions. Other party’s negative emotions, whether driven by anger or hostility, could be hiding fear and lack of confidence and these can make communication more difficult. 3. Others position. Other party’s positional behavior, the habits for negotiations they might have could try to make you give in, they tend to think that your win is their lost. 4. Others dissatisfaction. Even though you might be trying to get a win-win agreement, the other party might not see