a fashionista

I think the most important lesson is this: no matter how hard things get or what horrible stuff happens to you, nobody's going to cut you any slack. If you have to grieve, you need repair your torn up life, or you're not perfect because you went through traumatic events in your childhood, it doesn't matter. You're held to the same standards as everyone else, even if things were tough for you.
On one hand, this is kind of horrible. Grief and hardship shouldn't be the sort of thing you have to handle on your own. Everyone needs help. But really, you can't expect the world to wait for you to get better. Everyone else has tough times coming their way or things they've had to deal with before. Some have it much worse than others, but you're dealt the hand you're dealt. Have empathy and help others, but understand that pretty much nobody will cut you much of a break—and a small one if they do—if you have a hardship. You can learn on your friends and family for help, but you can't lean on the rest of the world. You have to show strength and persevere.
As someone who has gone through a lot of tough stuff, I'm not going to pretend it makes you better all-around. I'm still damaged in some ways, but I'm a lot stronger than others. Some parts of life are always going to be a struggle, but when you've struggled you don't get so intimidated by a challenge.
I think the most important lesson is this: no matter how hard things get or what horrible stuff happens to you, nobody's going to cut you any slack. If you have to grieve, you need repair your torn up life, or you're not perfect because you went through traumatic events in your childhood, it doesn't matter. You're held to the same standards as everyone else, even if things were tough for you.
On one hand, this is kind of horrible. Grief and hardship shouldn't be the sort of thing you have to handle on your own. Everyone needs help. But really, you can't expect the world to wait for you to get better. Everyone else has