Why I am Late for English Class
Hastily, I dashed through the door of my English class trying to avoid the mandatory three deduction points for being late, however my watch displayed 6:05 pm. Out of breath, I tried to sneak into my chair as if I had not been late at all, then I heard Mr. Foster firmly ask, “Ms. Sanders, why could you not arrive on time today?” “If I can be here at 7:45 am, work ten hours, and manage to arrive here on time, so can you.” I responded to him by saying, “If you were doing what I have been doing for the past 12 hours, you would be late too!” He eagerly asked, “What was so important that took precedence over your English class this evening?” “You better believe, I have heard all the excuses in the world, nothing will surprise me…proceed.” Well, it all started about 6:00 o’clock this morning. What I thought was my alarm clock rudely resurrecting me from what I describe, as the deepest and most relaxing sleep of my life, was actually the fire alarm in my apartment complex! I rushed to look outside my window to see what was going on. To my amazement, I saw the Pillsbury doughboy looking right at me with his big, round sapphire blue eyes. He was ivory in color and appeared to be squeezablely soft, like Charmin toilet paper. He wore a white satiny baker’s cap that displayed a blue Pillsbury emblem and fashioned a lily-white handkerchief around his neck. Let me remind you that I live on the fifth floor of a high-rise building downtown, so can image how enormously tall he was if he was able to see me through my bedroom window! Suddenly, he broke my window and demandingly said in a raspy voice, “YOU MUST COME WITH ME!”, “BETTY CROCKER NEEDS YOUR HELP; SHE HAS SENT ME TO SUMMON YOU FOR THE PURPOSE OF SAVING DUNCAN HINES AND GENERAL MILLS FROM THE EVIL MARTHA STEWART!” At this point, I was thinking; you have to be kidding! I turned to him and said, “Listen here, Mr. Puff-n-Stuff, I have to be at work in two hours and I must be at school for English class at 6:00 pm.” Doughboy then said, “YOU WILL BE BACK IN TIME FOR SCHOOL, BUT YOU WILL HAVE TO CALL IN SICK TO WORK TODAY, MRS. CROCKER HAS ONLY TEN HOURS TO SAVE DUNCAN HINES AND GENERAL MILLS, WE NEED TO HURRY!” In disbelief of the current situation, I stumbled to my closet to find some clothes. I established that all I had in my closet to wear was a white chef suit and a blue apron! I thought to myself, have I died and went to Betty Crocker hell? After costuming myself in the fashion-clad outfit, I scurried down to the street to meet Mr. Pillsbury Doughboy. He steadily reached down his hand and scooped me up like a crane. He then placed me in his satiny pillow-like cap and heavily stomped to the edge of the busy town, dodging every path-obstructing skyscraper while avoiding every ant-like vehicle in his course, as if he was in some sort of mouse torturing maze. We soon came to a stop and Mr. Doughboy safely placed me on the ground and said, “GOOD LUCK MISS. HEATHER; BETTY CROCKER IS COUNTING ON YOU.” He then reached into his handkerchief and pulled out this golden spatula, which was as bright as the blazing sun. I stood there in awe of this spatula, which nearly blinded me! He immediately said, “HERE, YOU WILL NEED THIS.” “USE IT WISELY!” He turned away and to my surprise, burst into pieces of chocolate cookie dough that showered the ground like fresh pelting rain on a spring day. I thought to myself, man this is the craziest thing I have ever seen! Subsequently, I looked around at the fairytale scenery before me. Directly ahead was a deliciously manufactured two-story cottage that glorified a flower-laden countryside. Lain out in this majestic field, was a variety of iridescent bloom filled bouquets, perfectly placed as if God had sprayed vibrantly colorful confetti out over the land. The overwhelming scent of their massive petals filled the morning air with a sweet intoxicating aroma. The...
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