Goldilocks through the eyes of Holden Caulfield from The Catcher in the Rye
Holdenlocks and The Three BearsIf you really want to hear about it, the first thing you'll probably want to know is where I was born, and what my lousy childhood was like, and all that David Copperfield kind of crap, but I don't feel like going into it, if you want to know the truth. I will tell you this though I am an 8 year old girl named Holdenlocks and well Ill just start it from here.
One day I decided to ditch out on my 3rd grade class, my teacher was being a complete phony, and go for a long pointless walk in the woods. Pretty soon, I came upon a house that looks like it could have been from a fairy tale, all perfect and what not. I cant tell you why, maybe because of complete boredom, but I knocked and no one answered. Something smelled good and I was goddamn hungry so I decided to take a quick peak and see what was cooking.
I opened the door and it made the most annoying noise ever. Is it really that hard to throw on some WD40? Anyways I walked in and saw three bowls of porridge. I went up to the first one and took a spoonful, and goddamn was it hot. It nearly burned my tongue off. I can guarantee that whoevers porridge this was just is a complete phony and just wants to look like a tough guy. Anyways, I went to the second bowl and it was freezing. This person also had to be a phony, thinking they were a cool polar bear or something. So I tried out the third bowl and it was just how I liked it, someone must of tried copying my style, yet another phony. I ate the whole bowl though and it was quite filling. School didnt end for another hour so I decided to poke around a bit.
I walked into the next room and saw three chairs and a T.V. with a movie playing. I usually dont watch movies because the are so fake and played out but I watched the whole movie, just because Im such a sexy bastard. I didnt even try the chairs out I just sat on the ground because Im just that cool.
After that phony movie I looked around and saw a staircase and went up it. There I
One day I decided to ditch out on my 3rd grade class, my teacher was being a complete phony, and go for a long pointless walk in the woods. Pretty soon, I came upon a house that looks like it could have been from a fairy tale, all perfect and what not. I cant tell you why, maybe because of complete boredom, but I knocked and no one answered. Something smelled good and I was goddamn hungry so I decided to take a quick peak and see what was cooking.
I opened the door and it made the most annoying noise ever. Is it really that hard to throw on some WD40? Anyways I walked in and saw three bowls of porridge. I went up to the first one and took a spoonful, and goddamn was it hot. It nearly burned my tongue off. I can guarantee that whoevers porridge this was just is a complete phony and just wants to look like a tough guy. Anyways, I went to the second bowl and it was freezing. This person also had to be a phony, thinking they were a cool polar bear or something. So I tried out the third bowl and it was just how I liked it, someone must of tried copying my style, yet another phony. I ate the whole bowl though and it was quite filling. School didnt end for another hour so I decided to poke around a bit.
I walked into the next room and saw three chairs and a T.V. with a movie playing. I usually dont watch movies because the are so fake and played out but I watched the whole movie, just because Im such a sexy bastard. I didnt even try the chairs out I just sat on the ground because Im just that cool.
After that phony movie I looked around and saw a staircase and went up it. There I