Ten years fron now

What? How? When? Ten Years? It always amazed me to see that I constantly change my answer to the question of where do I see myself in ten years. I will be in the mid thirties in ten years from now, and by then I will probably be more grounded. As always, my answer is depended on whom I hang out with at the moment as well as leisure activities I am engaging in. Sometimes I see myself in my favorite movies characters such as babe from the movie "pig in the city," or a part-time working wife as in "Stepmom". Other times I see myself in an image of the lady who did the advertisement for Christian Children Charity encouraging people to donate money for the poor. I can see myself in many forms and shapes of life; however, many of them are just my imagination. Beyond all that imagination, I often see myself as a productive individual in the society as a red-cross nurse, a divorce woman with no children, and/or a widow living with my chronically ill mother.

Becoming a productive member in our society is my dream. I like to work as a nurse to make positive differences in people's lives. To me, nursing is a very important role in our society because it serves people in both physical and emotional when they are most in need of care and attention. I see myself through helping others. And in helping others to achieve their maximum level of function, I find happiness. I realize that there are still many unfortunate people, especially those who live in the third world countries, suffering from illnesses. I keep on telling myself to do something to get close to those people who are in uncomfortable stage of living.

And the only way for me to do it is to work my way to become an experienced nurse. Thanks God, I am becoming a license nurse in no more than a month. I feel that my dream is half way fulfilled. I now deal with more and more sick people, and the amazing thing about it is I never get bore taking care for them over and over again. Moreover, I even feel worthy when all that I do is referring a patient to a health clinic that can help with her particular needs. Everything else regarding my imagination or my dream may changed over time, but the self urge to help the sick won't ever be changed even in ten or twenty years from now.

To be more helpful to the society, I need to continue my education to become an expert in nursing. I realize that the most effective way to get close to the sick is to work, work, and work as a nurse. I then would like to joint the Red-Cross team so I would have more of the opportunity to reach to those far away in the third world countries. It will be challenging for I, on the other hands, want to settle down with a family.

Most girls at my age want to get married, have kids, and have a happy family. I am no different. However, I don't think that I can maintain a family for long.

The eager to become a working woman is way stronger than a dedicated mother and wife. I don't want to get marry, and then stay home clean up after my husband, and give birth to as many children as my husband prefers. I want to work away from home, and contribute my life to the society in general, and to the poor as well as sick people in particular. Hence, family would then be a burden if I marry someone who is not in support of my dreams. Indeed, I doubt that I can find a man who can be so generous to let me do all the things that I dream of doing. It does not sound so promising, but I think in ten years I will end up filing a divorce document if I have ever married. So, why can't I just be a widow after all? It is very likely that I will become a widow, though.

In my culture we are very superstitious. I was born in the year of the tiger, and like many other people I know including my mother who were also born in the year of the tiger, all became widows or at least get divorce once. Personally, I do not believe in superstition, but I can't deny the fact that it is effecting on my mother. She has been up and down in many relationships, and at the end, she ends up with a divorce. She now is living with me with her chronic disease of hypertension and diabetes. Another reason for me to see myself as a widow is that I do not know if I can ever find a man who love me. I have learned that there are no men, but all boys out there. I keep on asking is there a man out there willing to go along with me and my dreams?Still, there has been no answer.

Anyhow, I prefer to live my fullest life, fulfil my dreams, and stay single to take care for my mother, who will be in need for a lot of medical attentions in ten years from now.

Those are not my imagination, but my dreams. I dream of become a Red-Cross nurse who will travel to many different poor countries to bring cures and health to people devastated by illnesses. I see myself in a broken family, yet I rise up and continue to work for my dreams and for the society. I also see myself as a big help for my mother as well as other mothers who are lonely and are suffering as they go through their aging process. All that I see now will be so for the next ten years? so, I hope.