Sympathy Reflection

I feel that through my portfolio I tried to really expand on my argument and really elaborate on each point that I was making while also connecting it back to my main claim. Before the revision I feel as if I provided a lot of claims but didn’t give enough of analysis or evidence to fully support what I was saying, but with this portfolio I tried to make everything fit together with plenty of reasoning behind my claims. I hope that you are able to notice that I took advantage of your comments on my essay and how I used them to help me expand on my claims, because without them I would have struggled to expand on my argument and my claims, as well as editing my paper as a whole. I think the pieces fit together because by expanding on my claims
I feel that in my second paragraph where I was discussing the comparison between poetry and rap music in my draft before this I didn’t really analysis the quotes from Dunbar and Fiasco, as well as I feel as if I sort of rushed it, rather than go into detail. I added this to my analysis of Dunbar’s poem, “Sympathy”, I state, “He is comparing himself to a bird within a cage, that has been abused and yearns to be free. Through trial and error of attempting to escape his cage he fails each time, he still has hope that at some point he will be able to escape. The oppression of blacks, also seen in the poem as the caged bird, during the late 19th century, when Dunbar wrote this poem, was crippling for the people and can be seen as a being held captive by prejudice and intolerance” (Melaku 3). Beforehand, I barely had any analysis of Dunbar’s poem but by adding this I was able to fully analyze what image he was trying to create for the reader whilst I was able to connect that to Lupe Fiasco’s song, “Word I Never Said”. Another place where my revision assisted me in making my writing and my essay more effective is later on in the essay where I bring up Brian Mooney’s classroom and his incorporation of rap music into his own classroom and further his ideas while connecting it to my argument. I state that, “It send the message
In the beginning I found it hard to take advice and apply it to my writing, but through all the peer reviewed, conferences and revisions I was able to understand what I really had a hard time doing. Yet through the course of the semester I have been able to change that and it has made my writing better as a whole. In the first essay we turned in, I realized that I wasn’t happy with what I had wrote, which doesn’t really happen to me because I always make sure to take my time and complete an outline and at least two drafts for myself before the final, but for this one I didn’t really do that. I feel that it really affected my writing and I wasn’t truly satisfied with the work I had. Before this class, I was really confident in my writing but this semester I feel that I grew more insecure of my writing. I think that depending on the environment and the other things going on definitely affect my writing. Although, I believe that this helped me grow as a writer and assisted me in establishing where I stand in my writing process now and how I can move