Satire
Homelessness in America
A major issue in America right now is that we have so many homeless people. They are blocking doorways and walkways, begging for spare change. America is supposed to be one of the richest countries in the world, yet there are so many people out there with not even a cent to their name. What should we do about it? First, we have to house them. We should send all of the homeless people to landfills. There they will be able to gather cardboard boxes and any other necessary materials to build a home. This way, they will have their own home and not have to pay taxes on it, but they will have to build it themselves. This will also solve the issue of unemployment. This way, they can gather any recyclable materials from the landfills and aid in helping the environment. This is helpful because they will have somewhere to live and work. Second, if we send them to landfills they will not go hungry. On average, Americans throw about 34 million tons of food away each year. This way, other Americans can feel charitable when they throw food into their garbage, knowing that it will be going to a homeless person early after. With that, the homeless will have plenty of food to eat. Thirdly, competition would be encouraged. Each person will be searching for the best piece of cardboard to add to their luxurious homes. If any problems come about, it would be very helpful, in that we would have one less homeless person to worry about.
To help prevent revelution, the most excellent homeless recyclers will be promoted to officers who will make sure the other workers are doing their jobs correctly and in a timely fashion. Providing any encouragement necessary, be it in the form of a nice pat on the back or a severe beating. The officers will be provided with the highest grade materials for their homes and the best discarded meals as payment for their duties. In this way, we will have housed, fed, and employed all of the homeless.
People may argue that
A major issue in America right now is that we have so many homeless people. They are blocking doorways and walkways, begging for spare change. America is supposed to be one of the richest countries in the world, yet there are so many people out there with not even a cent to their name. What should we do about it? First, we have to house them. We should send all of the homeless people to landfills. There they will be able to gather cardboard boxes and any other necessary materials to build a home. This way, they will have their own home and not have to pay taxes on it, but they will have to build it themselves. This will also solve the issue of unemployment. This way, they can gather any recyclable materials from the landfills and aid in helping the environment. This is helpful because they will have somewhere to live and work. Second, if we send them to landfills they will not go hungry. On average, Americans throw about 34 million tons of food away each year. This way, other Americans can feel charitable when they throw food into their garbage, knowing that it will be going to a homeless person early after. With that, the homeless will have plenty of food to eat. Thirdly, competition would be encouraged. Each person will be searching for the best piece of cardboard to add to their luxurious homes. If any problems come about, it would be very helpful, in that we would have one less homeless person to worry about.
To help prevent revelution, the most excellent homeless recyclers will be promoted to officers who will make sure the other workers are doing their jobs correctly and in a timely fashion. Providing any encouragement necessary, be it in the form of a nice pat on the back or a severe beating. The officers will be provided with the highest grade materials for their homes and the best discarded meals as payment for their duties. In this way, we will have housed, fed, and employed all of the homeless.
People may argue that