Satire

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  • Published : December 27, 2012
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Problem:|Solution:|Benefits of Solution:|
People always talk about the innocent lives of human beings and animals being killed/diseased/injured while everybody seems blinded towards fruits, vegetables, and plants when the same things happen to them! The lives of these harmless organisms are never considered while we chow down on salads and apples! The lives of the innocent must be protected!|The solution is simple, banning the consumption and destruction of all vegetables, fruits, and plants. This means that some forms of medicine will be eliminated due to some of the chemicals being extracted from plants but, rest assured that this sacrifice will not go out in vein due to plant-life being saved! Whenever a human, animal, or insect is caught even plucking an apple off of its own home, they will be punished by death, pesticide, or insecticide respectively. There will be monthly searches in everyone’s house in order to ensure that the plants are getting the necessary water, sunlight, and nutrition that they need. If you fail to keep your plants alive, death will be the ultimate punishment. I know that a lot of needed nutrition comes from these precious life forms so; I have created a monopoly on legal, synthetic fruits, vegetables, and even plants! |1.More oxygen will be produced from the plants which mean fresher air for everybody.2.Who can trust Mother Nature? The synthetic alternatives will serve a much better purpose overall.3.There will be less criminals around by eliminating threats to all plant-life (people who consume or destroy vegetables, fruits, and plants are considered criminals).4.Society will be a better place for every living organism on this planet! (The plants will prosper when everyone is dead from malnutrition since plants can plant and water themselves).|

Obviously, the true intentions of this “proposal” are to get rid all threats to the monopoly I am trying to initiate through synthetic plants. Farmers, markets, and drug stores...
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