According to the case study, Sammy encountered some problems within her intra and interpersonal relationships. In the following parts, I would like to use a new theory-The Five Building Blocks of Self-Esteem (Borba, 1989) to analysis Sammy's situation and follow by some comments with theoretical supporting in order to ameliorate her intra and interpersonal relationships.
The theory involved five elements: Mission, Selfhood, Competence, Affiliation and Security.
i. Mission is the feeling of purpose and motivation in life. Self - empowerment through setting realistic and achievable goals and being willing to take responsibility for the consequences of one's decisions. Sammy went to college without giving it much thought just caused by lacking of Mission.
ii. Selfhood is the feeling of individuality. Acquiring self-knowledge, this includes an accurate and realistic self-description source of influence on the self. Without Selfhood, Sammy would not know what she like and dislike, then keep asking herself “Who am I?”
iii. Competence represents the feeling of success and accomplishment in things regarded as important or valuable, aware of strengths and able to accept weaknesses. The reason that Sammy constantly comparing with others and feel that others are better than her is she does not know what her strengths are.
Those elements above were relative to the intrapersonal problems, besides, the remain elements were correlated to the interpersonal issues.
iv. Security states the feeling of strong assuredness. Involves feeling comfortable and safe; knowing what is expected; being able to depend on individuals and situations; comprehending rules and limits. Affiliation is the feeling of belonging, acceptance, or relatedness, particularly in relationships that are considered important. Feeling approved of, appreciated, and respected by others. These two elements both concern Sammy and her family’s relationship. As her parents always go home late because of work, they do not interact the others with a quality time. Weakening Security lead to negative emotions and gossamer Affiliation further the negative emotions into conflict.
The solution will be targeted at different difficulties.
i. Who you are : self-concept
“The totality of your thoughts and feelings with reference to yourself as an object.” (Rosenberg, 1979). To find the Selfhood, Sammy should first know herself deeply. The Four Developmental Areas of Self (Hanna, Suggett, & Radtke, 2007) is a way for her to explore different aspects of her own, the physical self, mental self, emotional self and social self. Besides, some testes such as Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (Carl , 1910), Transactional analysis (Hanna, Suggett, & Radtke, 2007) and PAQ Measure (Spence and Helmreich, 1978) are useful for finding out personality and let her know more about herself. Therefore, the question “Who am I?” would further confusing her.
ii. Set ourselves the goal
After knowing herself and disclosing the Selfhood, the next step is setting up her Mission. She can draw up a SMART Goal (Drucker, 1954), which is Specific-What, Why and How, Measurable-use number to quantitative targets, Attainable-the target must be within Sammy’s ability, Realizable-the target can be reached through specific methods and Time-framed-set a time limit. The goal can be entered into the different areas such as linguistic, musical, theater, sporting, etc. The CHANGE Model (Olson et. Al. 1999) may help her to achieve her own goal, which is not her parents’ goal.
iii. build up self-esteem
In order to deal with the problems of low Competence, is relative to the source of self-esteem (baron, 1990). The ways of knowing our Competence are usually be self-observation, compared with others and reference to the eyes of others. In this case, Sammy is mainly focusing on compared with others. As this...
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