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My First Love

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My First Love
MY FRIST LOVE STORY
2OO9…..was the year when I really started living .I was in the ninth standard, studying in the shss. For me the year was different, everything me seems to be breathing and every beat started beating with my own. I saw beauty in everything and started appreciating the beauty of the twinkling stars, the gorgeous moon and the vast sky. The chirping of the birds mixed with her voice became a melody that sooths my heart. The change in me was wonder; it was like a black and white life turned into a colorful one. The cause of change in me was Sonam. Sonam had a simple look but with a cute face she look gorgeous. She always stays in and around the house, maintaining gardens and cleaning. She loved to lend her hand to anybody who needed it and that was the reason whish sooths my heart.
2009…was just an introductory part where we knew each other well. The year ended but the bud of friendship just started blooming.
The new year(2010) began I tried to upgrade our friendship but my courage faded away in front of the girl. I really wanted to propose her but I doubt my word that she might not take it seriously. This all kinds of feelings touchers my innocent and gives me sleepless nights. So with fear in my mind and heartful of untold words, I jots down in a book thinking it might reduce the burden of my heart but it was opposite. The more I wrote, more I felt her. Her image with a perfection ate beauty appeared on every page I turned. Resisting no more I picked up the phone and dialed 17……… “Hellow”, a sweet voice answered the call. Than it was my turn, I just stuttered and finally managed to say, ‘Are you ------‘ It was her, than they talked about ----- My heart was beating fast and it was forcing me to tell her the truth. “Umh….I love you” came out at the middle of conversation. Than silence broke in. Oh! My god it came out. I didn’t even believe myself telling this to her. After few second she broke in the silence and directly said to me that she is not interested in such called romance world. The glass which I used to look, broke into pieces, the dreams shattered and all came to end, just like an old house rumbling down. I couldn’t believe this, her smiling face couldn’t tell lie. I thought ‘what could be the mistake that she refused my proposal’. Still than her word was final and there was no way to reconstruct it, but me there was little hope lingering in the dark hours, the hope that may change her mind and say the same words that I told to her. From that day I started living on that hope but nothing changed, it was all the same till I met a girl. i comforted myself saying there is no use in the past, so I started living in the present with a girl named Chador. I felt a new leave is tuning in my life but sill the mark of the past was unforgettable From that day on, a new chapter started, not knowing the mystery behind her. I tilted towards the sun. I moved along with her, showed her the same love as she does to me. I did all this stuff just to forget the past, to heal the wound and live a better life. As time passed I felt like my wound was healing. The love she showed to me was magic and every moment I started feeling better.
The phone rang as I got back from the evening class. “yes….” A girl responded, ‘ahh…..hellow’. I was brought back to the year 2009. The sweet voice was never gone off from me .Every moment came back as she continued talking. Suddenly she diverted the talk and asked a question. I was numb for a while . I wanted to tell her the truth, so clearing my throat and said, ‘yeah I have and I am happy with her’. She changed her tone and said in a low voce, ‘sorry for everything I caused you’. At first I didn’t got want she was trying to tell but after sometime I realized and felt sorry for not understanding her. I felt sorry because she was still buried deep inside my heart and I feels I can’t forget her though I wanted to. I never wanted to bring the buried life back, I only wanted to continue living my life with the one who loves me very much but my decisions where proved wrong and her love was proved to be a fake one when the real face of the girl reflected on my eyes.The relation with her ended and again I landed up in the same situation as before but this time it was not a hard thing to feel the pain of love because I have been through it and knows how to handle it out. Now I just wonders that after experiencing this all, is my heart in position to love anybody. Composed by- jigs

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