Margaret Finders

May 1994 | Volume 51 | Number 8 Educating for Diversity Pages 50-54 Why Some Parents Don't Come to School Margaret Finders and Cynthia Lewis Instead of assuming that absence means noncaring, educators must understand the barriers that hinder some parents from participating in their child's education. In our roles as teachers and as parents, we have been privy to the conversations of both teachers and parents. Until recently, however, we did not acknowledge that our view of parental involvement conflicts with the views of many parents. It was not until we began talking with parents in different communities that we were forced to examine our own deeply seated assumptions about parental involvement. From talking with Latino parents and parents
Yet, it is crucial that we expand the dialogue to include parent knowledge about school settings, even when that knowledge conflicts with our own. Develop trust. Parents affirm the importance of establishing trust. One mother attributes a particular teacher's good turnout for parent/teacher conferences to her ability to establish a “personal relationship” with parents. Another comments on her need to be reassured that the school is open, that it's OK to drop by “anytime you can.” In the opportunities we provide for involvement, we must regularly ask ourselves what messages we convey through our dress, gestures, and talk. In one study, for example, a teacher described her school's open house in a middle-class neighborhood as “a cocktail party without cocktails” (Lareau 1987). This is the sort of “party” that many parents wouldn't feel comfortable attending. Fear was a recurrent theme among the parents we interviewed: fear of appearing foolish or being misunderstood, fear about their children's academic standing. One mother explained: Parents feel like the teachers are looking at you, and I know how they feel, because I feel like that here. There are certain things and places where I still feel uncomfortable, so I won't go, and I feel bad, and I think maybe it's just me. This mother is relaying how it feels to be culturally, linguistically, and ethnically different. Her body of knowledge does not match the institutional knowledge of the school and she is therefore excluded from home/school conversations. Build on home experiences. Our assumptions about the home environments of our students can either build or sever links between home and school. An assumption that “these kids don't live in good environments” can destroy the very network we are trying to create. Too often we tell parents what we want them to do at home with no understanding of the rich social interaction that already occurs there (Keenan et al. 1993). One mother expresses her frustrations: