Humorous Wedding Speech To A Successful Student

Siiiigh. What the ever-loving fuck. Congratulations on picking on a student who hasn't done you any wrong. Congratulations on angering a person who has a very, very looong patience and is incredibly hard to anger. I hope you're proud of yourself. Nominate yourself as the best teacher of the year, you asshole. Blame it all on the students. Very good. You deserve a fucking medal, accompanied with a standing ovation of middle fingers. I guess putting people down makes you feel good, huh? It makes you believe in the illusion that you're fucking powerful, huh? Well then, job well done, you useless little piece of shit. We’re kind enough to go out of our way just to assist you in a job that you’ve more or less forced upon us—a job that should be
Holy shit, fuck you so much. We’re already being bombarded by so many things and you dare to exacerbate the stress that is currently being placed upon us, as if everything is always our fucking fault. Well, guess what? It’s all you. You’re lazy, useless, whiny, and every other negative adjective you’ve made up in your head for us. You’re just way too idiotic to see that, believing that you’re the right one, and everyone else opposing that or gets in the way is wrong. According to your malfunctioning brain, if you even have one, the ones who do all the work for you are all lazy, and you, who does nothing but give out orders—inaccurate ones—is a fucking god whom we should all obey.
How dare you? How dare you blame us for your stupidity and ineffectiveness as an administrator and a school head? How fucking dare you? You have the shittiest little brain, if you even have one, existing on this planet. I cannot even begin to fathom the kind of useless shit that goes in and out of the shallowness that is you. Honestly, I cannot even begin to fathom the reason you exist, as your disappearance would be a fucking blessing to this world. The universe would function better with one less idiot to house and