Humorous Wedding Speech Analysis

I separate my broad hand from my chest after the glorious music fades into oblivion. As I comb my fingers through my thick black hair President Saunders strolls onto the patriotic themed stage. He taps the grey microphone 3 times to assure himself that it was on and working. As I look around, I see all the hefty cameras. Filming our pride and joy in all his glory. He coughs to clear his throat, making it obvious that he is slightly nervous. All I want is for him to begin his speech about the brilliant alliance the U.S and Australia have formed. Our countries, that are both beautiful and free, allows so much prospect and potential for our future. All around me are proud American citizens that have one thing in common, the love for our president.
Stopping everyone in their footsteps.
“Contain yourself Charles, if you are unable to handle a loud noise, how you will handle a screaming baby is beyond me” Larry the chief of the FBI says tautly, making me even more nervous for the upcoming week when my wife will be delivering our baby girl. The rest of my colleagues giggle as my cheeks quickly begin to match my fiery red hair. This is the last meeting before everything in the world will go wrong. The torture that we will be creating on innocent lives does not phase my colleagues, but deep down inside I do not want it to happen. All that I can think about is how it is going to affect my future family. Alas, there is not a lot I can do, considering this job pays exceptionally well for me to share my thoughts and ruin everything. I look at the ghastly looking folder, it scares me that I know every single plan and how it will execute on the day. I am also disappointed in myself knowing that I will be part to blame for the divide that our world will incur. Larry opens the heavy folder and I snap out of my thoughts. I begin to twirl my thumbs, something I have done to calm my nerves ever since