During their wedding, the groom and the bride exchange vows. A contract which say to have and to hold, in richer or poorer, sickness and health; till death do they part is sealed. So, they start the institution of family upon which LOVE is and must b e foundation in another situation, we hear on TV “crimes of passion” where people are scarred for life on dead for the sake of love; so they say. The question now is: what is LOVE? A weak human feeling? LOVE is blind? Valentine’s day? Ask any random person and you will get any random answer also. Personally, love is felt or expressed rather than defined, I cannot give the exact meaning but I know what it means and how to show it. Beyond that, I rest my case. The ancient Greeks tried to define and sort out LOVE. And they come up with four- Storge, Philia, Eros and Agape. And I have come up with this presentation to define all four in the simplest way possible. We won’t go far. We will deal with a person we all have. She is our mother, either biological emotional attachment. Our mothers are the perfect examples s and manifestation of Love. Yes, all four as defined by the Greeks. To make it easier to understand, emotion, language, perception and even reason will be employed in a given scenario to better explain the LOVE being taken.
1. How is love created?
Widipedia defines love as a “virtue representing kindness and compassion.” It is a human feeling. In psychology, love is sorted into three different components. They are intimacy, commitment and passion. Intimacy is defined as people sharing a person expect that love is permanent while passion deals more with infatuation and sexual intercourse. However, biology explains that love occurs in 3 stages and they are lust, attraction and attachment. Lust allows a person being seen by another. Attraction is when a person and attachment is a “bond” of toleration leading to marriage and raising children. Body hormones like dopamine, serotonin and oxytocin are at work. Pheromones are also considered. A mothers love is innate. There is no reason for it. A maternal instinct is always present. It is more that duty. She believes her offsprings come first. The language of love are mostly shown in actions rather than words. Daily chores, working for a better living, and sometimes scolding are acts of love. Through sometimes we don’t understand our mothers, we may hate or mistrust them but to them it is a different story. Like they say the heart has it reasons. Yes, her affection, care, instinct and intuition can be summed up in love.
2. When attraction becomes love….
Love is case to case basis. They are neither rigid nor single formulated to be in love or love someone. Stanford University tried to define love and came up with various ways of defined love from liking, having a personal value and affection. To care is not love but rather love is measured in depth which is a personal evaluation. It can even be intuition. In this case, the biological perspective is neither canceled out nor confirmed. What is sure is that hormones might be at work. (I.e. pheromones or the definition of beautiful) plus the person’s evaluation of what is going on inside his heart or the signals sent to the brain. After all, LOVE is neither cognitive (brain process) nor affective but rather volitional(Frankfurt1999). It simply means that you are responsible in choosing who to love. It is not dictated by anyone. The study also assumed that everyone is rational but again there is no reason which commands us to love that someone. A mother’s bond to her children are unconditional. It is uncaused. The moment she gets pregnant, that super strong attachment exists. Our mothers show love in it’s simplest to its most complex form. There is this instant attraction. I heard a story once about a mother who is willing to lay down her life for her criminal son. My friend asked his mother why she is quiet while watching that new on TV. His mother...
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