How Early Childhood Experiences with Parents Shape Self-Concept

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How Early Childhood Experiences with Parents Shape Self-Concept
CCOU 304
Liberty University
Vickie M. Flanagan
4/3/12

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Thesis: Early childhood experiences with parents play a major role in the shaping of an individual’s self-concept- the set of attitudes, opinions, and cognitions that she has of herself. Patterns of self-concept begin to develop as early as toddlerhood, while children are developing their sense of self-awareness. Everything from modeling parental behavior, parenting styles, to the availability, love and nurturing of one’s parents is thought to have overall consequences of how someone might see and define themselves.

Running Head: The Shaping of Self-Concept Flanagan 3 In the study of early childhood psychosocial development, self-concept has been defined as a total picture of one’s abilities and traits. It is a “cognitive construction, a system of descriptive and evaluation representations about the self”, that determines how one feels about themselves and serves as a guide for one’s actions (Papalia, Feldman, 2011, p.282).
Could there be any wonder as to why parents are thought to play a major role in the overall shaping of an individuals self-concept? From a very early age a child will incorporate into their self-concept the growing understanding of how others view them (Papalia, Feldman, 2011, p.282). This can have an either positive or negative effect, which can carry over into adulthood. The sense of self begins at infancy and experts say that depending on the type of care received by the infant and the response, either pleasant or unpleasant emotions become connected with experiences that play an important role in the growing concept of self (Papalia, Feldman, 2011, p.220). Psychologists explain that by the age of 3 months, infants are already paying attention to their mirror image (Papalia, Feldman, 2011, p.220). By the age of 4 to10 months, infants experience a sense of personal agency, realizing that they can control external events (Papalia, Feldman, 2011, P.220). At this time they are also developing a self-coherence, a sense of being a physical whole, in which is developed by their interaction with caregivers (Papalia, Feldman, 2011 p.220). Over time they will learn that they can successfully complete tasks by goal setting, maintaining effort, and overcoming failure to accomplish a desired result (Steep, 2012). As more opportunities arise they will form beliefs about their ability to perform at their desired level which will motivate the child’s behavior developing a positive sense of self (Steep, 2012) Running Head: The Shaping of Self-Concept Flanagan 4 In one study, investigators put makeup on the noses of children 6 to 24 months old and sat them in front of a mirror. Three-fourths of the 18-month-olds and all of the 24-month-olds touched their red noses, revealing their self-awareness and self-consciousness (Papalia, Feldman, 2011, p.220). A 2 year old is already exhibiting expressions of embarrassment and even pride (Steep, 2012). Self-concept continues to grow throughout childhood. Parents can influence their child’s ideas and beliefs about how to define the self, often through every day conversation. Children don’t usually talk about their self-concept until the age of about 8 years old. However, they do tend to express by behavior, that they have a self-concept (Papilia, Feldman, 2011, p.283). Even before the age of 7, a child’s self-esteem is not based on reality but rather the judgments of that of adults and can be either positive or critical. In early childhood, the concept of self is either “I am good” or I am bad” (Papalia, Feldman, 2011, p.284). By middle childhood, the concept of self is more realistic as more personal evaluations of competence based on internalization of both parental and societal standards begin to shape and maintain self-worth (Papalia, Feldman, 2011, p.284). In a study on gender roles, reported by Susan D. Witt, Ph.D., a female is likely to view her gender role in the same way as her parents do (Tabb, 2012). For example, a women’s place is that of cooking, cleaning, and doing the dishes, while a male’s role is more of performing tasks such as mowing the lawn and taking out the trash. Witt reports that children growing up with parents who encourage a more androgynous gender role and with greater encouragement do not

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identify themselves with the stereotypical gender. They tend to be more flexible in relationships and have an overall higher sense of self-esteem (Tabb, 2012).
According to sociologist Dr. Morris Rosenberg, an individual having a high self-concept would display self-respect and positive self-worth, whereas someone with a low self-concept would exhibit self-rejection, self-dissatisfaction, and self-contempt (Rosenberg, 1965).
In another study by developmental psychologist Dr. Susan Harter in 1993, parents who respond to their children in a positive way, offering encouragement and who are overall more supportive will develop a child who has a higher level of self-esteem (Tabb, 2012). Parents, who are more critical, particularly when criticisms are directed toward a child’s physical appearance, develop a child with a lower self-esteem (Tabb, 2012).
Often times parenting skills are greatly influenced by the environment in which they grew up. These patterns, either positive or negative tend to spill over onto their off spring (Stanley, 1996). The way the father treated the mother, the way the parents cared for the children, the way mom talked about her appearance, etc. Everything from relationships, education, environment, to childhood trauma, has been proven to influence a person’s self-concept. This affects not only how they relate to others, handle problems, but also how they organize thoughts, carry out tasks, and what motivates and interests the individual (Winslow, 2005).
Children are born with one of four basic personality types, known as inborn traits. These traits are inherited. Parents have more influence than anyone else to strengthen these traits (Littauer,
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1995, Winslow, 2005). This can be done by understanding these traits and parenting positively according to the individual’s traits. Humanistic psychologist Carl Rogers believed that a child had two basic needs: Positive regard from others and self-worth (McLeod, 2007). Rogers believed that children need to be regarded positively by others, to feel valued, respected and loved, particularly be their mother and father. Rogers clarifies the distinct difference between two types of Positive regard- Unconditional positive regard and Conditional positive regard. Unconditional positive regard is where parents or guardians will accept and love the individual for who they are. This type of positive regard is not withheld although the individual might do something wrong or make a mistake. This type of regard insures that the individual can freely try new things, make mistakes and still feel acceptance (McLeod, 2007). Someone who expresses self-confidence is likely to have received unconditional positive regard from their parents.
Conditional positive regard is defined as praise and approval which are dependent upon the way a child behaves. Meaning that love is withheld if the child doesn’t behave in a way a parent believes to be correct. Someone seeking approval is likely to have experienced conditional positive regard in childhood (McLeod, 2007).
Psychologist Diana Baumrind, identified three types of parenting styles as a primary influence in the shaping of behavior and personality of an individual. Baumrind identified Authoritarian parenting as what the parent says is law, and is not to be questioned. Misbehavior would result in strict punishment, which includes not so harsh, but physical punishment (Berger, 2008). This type of parenting sets clear rules and holds high standards. Children are not expected to give opinions, and there is little regard to their emotions. These types of parents love their children
Running Head: The Shaping of Self-Concept Flanagan 7 but usually don’t show affection (Berger, 2008). This type of parenting usually results in children who are conscientious, obedient, and quite but are unlikely to express much joy. These children have a tendency to feel guilt, depression, internalization of their frustrations, taking full blame upon themselves and are later likely to show rebellion (Berger, 2008). Over all children having grown up under this type of parenting style has shown a much lower level of self-esteem (Coie & Dodge, 1998; Coopersmith; Schwartz, Dodge, Pettit, & Bates, 1997). Authoritarian parenting practices has been linked with an evangelical effort suggesting domination of a child, also known as breaking the child’s will (Sailor, 2006-2011).
The second parenting style Baumrind identified is Permissive parenting. This style of parenting makes few demands and hides their impatience. There is a lack in discipline due in part to the low expectations for maturity. Permissive parents are very nurturing, accepting and are open to listen to whatever their children have to say (Berger, 2008). Although they desire to be helpful, they do not feel responsible for shaping their children. The result is often unhappy children, lacking self-control, particularly in peer relationships. This has a negative effect on friendships, which is often the reason for their unhappiness. These types of children tend to remain at home, still dependent in early adulthood (Berger, 2008).
The last type of parenting identified by Baumrind is Authoritative parenting. This type of parenting has a set of expected limitations. They enforce rules but are open to listen to their children. This type of parenting demand maturation, but are usually forgiving rather than punishing when the child falls short. They consider themselves to be guides rather than authorities or friends (Berger, 2008). Authoritative parents raise children who are successful,
Running Head: The Shaping of Self-Concept Flanagan 8 articulate and generally have a positive self-awareness (Coopersmith, 1967). These types of children are usually very generous and thoughtful of others and are usually very well accepted (Berger, 2008). Regardless of the style of parenting, one suggests; “When parents are inconsistent in their parenting approach, it can have damaging effects on their children because they don’t know what to expect” (Sailor, 2006-2011).
Some of the classic psychological theories focus on the importance of experience in the shaping of behavior and the development of self. Three of the major theories which have been used to explain how children learn include: Classical conditioning, Operant conditioning, and Observational learning. Classical conditioning was discovered by Russian psychologist Ivan Pavlov (1894-1936). Using dogs, Pavlov discovered that by repeatedly pairing the sound of a bell with the presentation of food caused the dogs to associate the tone with the food. The tone alone would cause the dogs to salivate with anticipation of the food (Papalia, Feldman, 2011, p. 30). It was discovered that children learn in much the same way, developing associations between things, their environment and the potential consequences (Berk, 2009, Kail, 2006). Fear responses linked to an object could be the result of a trauma (Papalia, Feldman, 2011, p.31).
Operant conditioning is associated with awarded or punished behavior, in which case the individual learns from the consequences of “operating” on the environment (Papalia, Feldman, 2011). Psychologists discovered reinforcement would strengthen the behavior, where punishment would weaken the behavior (Papalia, Feldman, 2011).

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Observational learning is considered to be modeling a behavior from watching someone else. While watching peers, siblings, and even television can impact this type of learning, parents tend to be a child’s greatest influence.
Psychologist and Martin E.P. Seligman says parents can ensure healthy shaping of a child’s self-concept early by responding promptly when their infant cries. Through this they learn one of the most fundamental building blocks, that is crying works to bring relief (Seligman, 2007). This along with positive and responsive interaction is the basis for secure attachment between a child and the parents. Seligman suggests that positivity in the form of love, affection and warmth feeds mastery and self-efficacy. He notes that when children feel safe, secure, and happy they reach farther in their exploration. The more they explore the more mastery (Seligman, 2007). In addition, Seligman suggests that children develop a healthy self-concept by learning to cope with and overcome failure. Parents can help this process by neither protecting them from failure, nor by criticizing their character when failure occurs. Seligman says that children learn necessary coping skills when their parents hold them accountable for specific behaviors while also expressing confidence in their ability to do better, encouraging opportunities to try again (Seligman, 2007). Seligman says; “children listen to how adults criticize them and absorb this style of criticism as well as the substance (Seligman, 2007). Seligman believes that if a parent is critical of a child for being lazy, rather than not trying as hard today as they think the child could have, the child will believe that he or she is lazy and that his failures are unchangeable and permanent. Seligman suggests a more accurate and specific approach that has impermanent assessments of failures that are changeable. Seligman also believes that parents will help by focusing on specific and temporary personal causes when talking about their own personal
Running Head: The Shaping of Self-Concept Flanagan 10 failures, since it’s believed that children acquire the explanatory styles of those around them (Seligman, 2007).
From a Biblical perspective, God’s technique on developing self-concept is consistent. The Bible encourages the celebration of success along rewarded efforts (Hulme, 2010). “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men” (Colossians 3:23, NIV). The Bible also warns against becoming discouragement. “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up (Galatians 6:9, NIV). In conclusion, Parents hold the fundamental building blocks that promote a healthy self-concept for their children early in life which will carry on throughout adulthood. In an article written in Focus on the Family, Shana Schutte writes that there are not only ABC’s for children, but ABC’s for parents. Parents who lovingly accept their children, create an environment of belonging, and allow them to become competent will most likely produce adults with a healthy and positive sense of self-concept (Schutte, 2008).

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