Heidi Reeder's Theories

Heidi Reeder has a Bachelor’s degree from the University of Oregon, a Master’s from Stanford University, and a PHD from Arizona State University. Reeder is currently the associate professor in the Communications Department at Boise State University. She has been teaching at Boise State University for over ten years and has even received a Carnegie Foundation Professor of the Year award. Reeder specializes in research on male and female interactions and the communication involved in love and friendship.
I examined one of Heidi’s theories which was, “Conditions that determine the fate of friendships after unrequited romantic disclosures.” This theory was very fascinating because it compared the behaviors involved when a friend has feelings for another friend,
Was embarrassed or uncomfortable after the episode
Was hurt that the feelings were not mutual
Appeared to have continued to push for a romantic relationship
Continued to hope that his or her partner would develop romantic feelings
Conclusion:
-Friendships either survive or dissolve as a result of particular behaviors between each person
-The awkwardness of the situation leads to a dissolution of the friendship, even when both partners would have preferred otherwise
-Since there is no social script to guide a person’s behavior during these episodes, it makes it really difficult for each person to react, and they may respond in the wrong way in the moment of things.
-Depending on the particular behavior the relationship may dissolve.
-Sometimes partners improvise behaviors, which can save the friendship

Suggestions from the study if the friendship is to be maintained:
Pursue the friendship and make it clear that maintaining it is important to you.
Verbally reaffirming the friendship
Dropping episode from further discussion
Make it clear that you have accepted and can handle the asymmetry