Grief In Elizabeth Kubler-Ross Five Stages Of Grieving
There is no correct way or time to grief”. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, a deceased psychiatrist and author of “On Grief and Grieving” provided her theory of the five stages of grief, stating that grief presents itself in different forms depending on the individual experiencing it, and the context of the loss. These stages are not linear, nor are they predictable, but Kubler-Ross’s theory provides a psychoanalytical view of symptoms one might anticipate while dealing with the loss of a loved one. In Ben Johnson’s “On My First Son” and Katherine Philip’s “On the Death of My First and Dearest Child, Hector Philips” we see multiple aspects of Kubler-Ross’s “Five Stages of Grief” resonating in the diction used by each poet, portraying the similarities
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In the publication of “Despised Creature: The Illusion of Maternal Self-Effacement in Seventeenth-Century Child Loss Poetry” Pamela Hammons concludes “parental sin as the ultimate cause of the child’s death” (Hammons, 28) as one of the three main thematic concerns that both male and female poets expressed in seventeenth century poetry. Similar to Johnson, Philips portrays the sin she feels she committed as a way to bargain with the intense pain of grief. She “did but see him, and he disappeared,” she “did but touch the rosebud, and it fell”. In accordance to Kubler-Ross’s theory of the bargaining stage of grief, these lines represent the “if onlys”; the thoughts of regret one experiences while trying to think of what they could’ve done differently to avoid the death of their loved one (Kubler-Ross 17). Examples of these thoughts are: What if Philips never embraced her son? What if she never saw him and enjoyed his presence? In reality these factors were not responsible for Hector Philip’s death, but to his mother, she is fixating on things she did in the past that could’ve been selfish or sinful. As she subconsciously works throughout the different stages of grief, she tries her best to define exactly what has happened as a way to negotiate her way out of the hurt
In the publication of “Despised Creature: The Illusion of Maternal Self-Effacement in Seventeenth-Century Child Loss Poetry” Pamela Hammons concludes “parental sin as the ultimate cause of the child’s death” (Hammons, 28) as one of the three main thematic concerns that both male and female poets expressed in seventeenth century poetry. Similar to Johnson, Philips portrays the sin she feels she committed as a way to bargain with the intense pain of grief. She “did but see him, and he disappeared,” she “did but touch the rosebud, and it fell”. In accordance to Kubler-Ross’s theory of the bargaining stage of grief, these lines represent the “if onlys”; the thoughts of regret one experiences while trying to think of what they could’ve done differently to avoid the death of their loved one (Kubler-Ross 17). Examples of these thoughts are: What if Philips never embraced her son? What if she never saw him and enjoyed his presence? In reality these factors were not responsible for Hector Philip’s death, but to his mother, she is fixating on things she did in the past that could’ve been selfish or sinful. As she subconsciously works throughout the different stages of grief, she tries her best to define exactly what has happened as a way to negotiate her way out of the hurt