Final Project:: Personal Narrative

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Personal Narrative

PSY/230

Louise Dean

May 8, 2011

Over the past five years the purpose and meaning for my life has developed into an

empathetic, caring, responsible person. I am in the process of fulfilling a mission to help others

deal with life’s situations, circumstances, and issues without the use of alcohol and drugs.

My life began as the 18th of 20 siblings, which was not an easy assignment for me. I had to

hold the position as “the baby” for seven years before my baby sister was born. This was the

beginning of the development of my personality that I possessed over time through experience

and my environment. The infancy stage of my life was filled with glory and gloom as parents

and siblings gave praises to me,” The Baby”. I was always catered to and showered with gifts of

love and affection. Until one day, something happened. People was walking by me to get to the

baby, this small “something” which my mother kept bundled up until the next visitor came by

with oohs, ahhs, and compliments of praises for “it”. As Caldonia replaced my glory, I was

determined to be doomed for life. In spite of others’ sympathy for me, I felt like something was

wrong with me. I developed the sense that I did something wrong, and something was wrong

with me. I had lost confidence in myself and others and trust was broken. I became resentful and

felt neglected as if no one loved me any longer. I developed personality traits of

introversion/extroversion, friendly/ unfriendly, and became a loner. The

fluctuation of my feelings towards the baby, my mother, my family, and the world were

internalized feelings of the pain I felt. Feelings of inferiority overwhelmed me.

Upon entering first grade, in early childhood, I developed a different perspective with this

interactionism with other children. I was taller than my peers and after being picked on by older

siblings, I felt like this was my opportunity to stand up to someone. As anxious as I was to be

aggressive, I just could not bully the friends that were so small and friendly. This humanistic

view of motivation, influenced by my mother’s voice in Christian discipline statements such as,

“don’t do her like that”, “that is not fair”, “play fair” and “be kind to each other” helped shape

my personality at this life stage. I developed a personality of conscientiousness from my mother

disciplining us on our behavior. As I matured to adolescence, I developed the personality traits of

agreeableness, and risk taking.

By early adolescence I very much agreed with adults when I was told, “you are too big to play

with little Sandra”, “you are too big to be in third grade” and constantly asked, “how old are

you?” I decided to play with the boys and play as the boys. Why not? I was just as big and tall as

the boys and was too big to play with girls, as I was told. The schemas of my personality were

shaped accordingly. My personal construct was the images of the behaviors that I felt was

appropriate from the perspective of my self-image and from others’ perspective. My life was

consistent to Erikson’s basic philosophy: “the world gets bigger as we go along and failure is

cumulative.”

During my early teens, I experienced physical changes, which was natural at this life stage,

yet I was uncomfortable with. I had reached puberty. At puberty, I was developing faster than

my friends and this fast maturity made me feel uncomfortable with myself again. My father

made sexual advances towards me. I then developed a self-concept as worthiness to someone and

became promiscuous. At this time other girls were courting and had “boyfriends” and I was

trying so hard to be loved and accepted. By age 15, I became involved with a 20-year-old family

friend, three months later we were married. We had a very beautiful wedding on my family

home’s front porch. I was such...
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