Attack of the Vigilant Do-gooder!!
Gooooooooood evening, good evening, good evening good evening! And welcome to the very first session of ATTACK OF THE VIGILANT DO-GOODERS! (sound effects: scream) …. Where we’ll tear open the smug, pompous, pink underbelly of chivalry, to reveal the true motives and hidden agendas of these moral vigilantes.
Today, we’re discussing giving up your seat on the trains and buses. Now, we see this almost every day. When you’re going to meet your boyfriend, girlfriend, homosexualfriend, just friend friend, just friend friend who thinks he’s your boyfriend after that awkward incindent at the chalet a couple of weeks back but you didn’t have the heart to tell him otherwise cause you think you’ll lose him as a friend friend and.. yea.. so get the idea… The vigilant do-gooder. Mr goodie-2-shoes in the flesh. Dream son of all mothers. And to the rest of us, a right pain in the petunias. He’s making us look bad! Scanning the train every few minutes for that poor suffering old lady who really needs a seat. And when he spots his prey, he lunges forward . “AUNTY!! Ni yao zhuo ma?” I don’t know about you but, I’m starting to get a pretty good idea as to why our Singapore courtesy campaigns always have a lion. Once he has so ‘selflessly’ given up his seat, he dons his ‘am-i-the-only-one-with-any-morals’ mask and peers at the rest of us through his limited edition ‘I’m-judging-you’frames.
So listeners, should we feel bad? Does altruism really exist? And can we really get those fashionable shades for a dollar ninetyfive?
But first, let’s find out what the weather’s gonna be like today. We’ve got a new weather guy, mike. Let’s call him
Ringing…..
Hi mike! How do you reckon the weather’s like today?
Oi!! YOU GUYS LOCKED ME ON THE ROOF!
Sorry what?
YOU TOLD ME HELP YOU WITH THE SURVEY HELP ME DO SURVEY AND YOU BRING ME TO THE ROOF AND…. *beep* *beep* (line disconnected)
I think we’re having some technical difficulties but thanks mike!
And now back to
ATTACK OF THE
Today, we’re discussing giving up your seat on the trains and buses. Now, we see this almost every day. When you’re going to meet your boyfriend, girlfriend, homosexualfriend, just friend friend, just friend friend who thinks he’s your boyfriend after that awkward incindent at the chalet a couple of weeks back but you didn’t have the heart to tell him otherwise cause you think you’ll lose him as a friend friend and.. yea.. so get the idea… The vigilant do-gooder. Mr goodie-2-shoes in the flesh. Dream son of all mothers. And to the rest of us, a right pain in the petunias. He’s making us look bad! Scanning the train every few minutes for that poor suffering old lady who really needs a seat. And when he spots his prey, he lunges forward . “AUNTY!! Ni yao zhuo ma?” I don’t know about you but, I’m starting to get a pretty good idea as to why our Singapore courtesy campaigns always have a lion. Once he has so ‘selflessly’ given up his seat, he dons his ‘am-i-the-only-one-with-any-morals’ mask and peers at the rest of us through his limited edition ‘I’m-judging-you’frames.
So listeners, should we feel bad? Does altruism really exist? And can we really get those fashionable shades for a dollar ninetyfive?
But first, let’s find out what the weather’s gonna be like today. We’ve got a new weather guy, mike. Let’s call him
Ringing…..
Hi mike! How do you reckon the weather’s like today?
Oi!! YOU GUYS LOCKED ME ON THE ROOF!
Sorry what?
YOU TOLD ME HELP YOU WITH THE SURVEY HELP ME DO SURVEY AND YOU BRING ME TO THE ROOF AND…. *beep* *beep* (line disconnected)
I think we’re having some technical difficulties but thanks mike!
And now back to
ATTACK OF THE