I'd be happy to give you some suggestions if you'll take them. I was an English major in college and I currently work as a copywriter for a company, so hopefully I can give you a few tips to make your letter more formal. How about this:
Dear Office of Student Financial Aid,
My name is *your name* and I am writing to ask you to appeal my suspension of federal aid. The fall and summer semesters were a very stressful and overwhelming time in my life because I was not only returning to school after being out of it for ten years, but I was also taking care of my seven children, sharing one car between my husband and myself, and also working a full-time job. It was very difficult for me to concentrate and do well in my classes when I had to put my family ahead of myself.
I do realize that I neglected my studies and I would like another chance to do better in them. I have compiled a list of steps I need to take in order to be successful in school: 1. I will resign from my full-time job in order to give my full attention to school. 2. I will obtain a tutor for my most difficult classes by becoming familiar with the tutoring center on campus. 3. I will talk to each of my instructors personally to find out how I can do well in their classes. 4. I will manage my time wisely so that I can balance my family and studies together. 5. I will attend all of my classes to take advantage of what they have to offer.
My goal is to earn a degree in education so that I can make a difference in the lives of young students. This is very important to me because I want to make sure that they don't make the same mistakes that I did. But I can only do this if I can apply for financial aid. I am a hard-working student and a dedicated mother, and I would like the chance to prove to you that my next semester will not be a disappointment. I will try my hardest to be good role model to my family and other students.
Please take this letter into consideration and give me another...
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