Analysis of Sexual Identity Psy 265

Analysis of Sexual Identity

Marriage is described as a married relationship between two people or somebody’s relationship with his or her spouse. However, it is also much more than that. A marriage is something that requires work, trust, and an open line of communication. The presented situation between Robert and Katy is a sad one, but a very common one indeed. This evening we are going to explore some options as to what they can do in order to see if where Katy’s heart lies and were her physical attractions lie are one in the same, and if they are not, what are some options for the both of them. We will also look and see if they are in the same place in the relationship or if one thinks that they are in one place and they are really in another. Initially in the relationship of Robert and Katy, it seems as if Katy’s values are those of someone who is selfish, but yet she still needs her needs met. She is influenced by ethical relativism. Ethical relativism assumes that diverse values are basic to human existence. The ethical relativist believes that there is no objective way of justifying one set of moral values over another. In this view, the essence of human morality is to derive one’s own principles and apply them according to one’s own conscience. Opponents of ethical relativism argue that allowing people free rein to determine what is right or wrong may bring about social chaos and decay. (Rathius, 6). Katy is going through the emotions where she is caught in the middle and does not know what on earth to do. Katy’s critical thinking is that of so many things. She is caught in many different phases and has not really taken heed to what she should think critically about. She is not examining definitions or being cautious in drawing conclusions from evidence. It is like her critical thinking has stopped and she is in an elevator and it has stopped at the basement. She has taken into consideration that she is still very much married, but she has allowed her critical thinking portion of her marriage to absolutely stop. History places sexual attitudes and behavior in context. It informs us as to whether sexual behavior reflects trends that have been with us through the millennia or the customs of a particular culture and era. History shows little evidence of universal sexual trends. Attitudes and behaviors vary extensively from one time and place to another (Rathus, 10). Now is Katy was living back in the day, she would have to a good wife rises before dawn to tend to her family’s needs, brings home food, instructs the servants, tends the vineyards, makes the clothes, keeps the ledger, helps the needy, and works well into the night. Even so, a wife was considered the property of her husband and could be divorced on a whim. A wife could also be stoned to death for adultery, but she might have to share her husband with secondary wives and concubines (Rathus, 11). Those are some things that she could put into perspective and really think about her commitment to Robert even though he is not at home. Environmentally, Katy is probably going through the phase of not sitting at home alone during the week not really putting her thought into the fact that Robert is out working in order to provide for them. Also, while Katy is sitting at home, it gives her mind time to idle and ponder on what she thinks that Robert is doing and who is doing it with. The bible says that an idle mind has impure thoughts. Katy is also having allowing her work environment to overshadow her home life and what is really important. She is caught up in having another man present not realizing that she has a really good man at home. Psychologically Katy is scared emotionally. Sigmund Freud, a Viennese physician, formulated a grand theory of personality termed psychoanalysis. Freud believed that we are all born with biologically based sex drives that must be channeled through socially approved outlets if family and social life are to carry on without undue conflict. Freud proposed that the mind operates on conscious and unconscious levels. The level corresponds to our state of present awareness. The unconscious mind refers to the darker reaches of the mind that lie outside our direct awareness. The ego shields the conscious mind from awareness of our baser sexual and aggressive urges by means of defense mechanisms such as repression, or motivated forgetting of traumatic experiences.(Rathis 26). Seeing that Katy was sexually abused when she was younger, this could also play a very important role as to why she seeks love from someone other than her husband. She reverts back to that feeling of anger when she was violated and she acts out but giving herself freely to others. There is also the possibility that Katy never had therapy to deal with her issues and so this is also her way of therapy. Instead of Katy opening up and keeping that line of communication open with Robert, she finds comfort in an available man that will lend her an ear to her current situation at home. In the terms of gender identity, we are lead to believe that Katy is the woman of all women who was raised to be that way. Gender roles affect relationships and sexual behavior. Children learn at an early age that men usually approach women and initiate sexual interactions, whereas women usually serve as the “gatekeepers” in romantic relationships. In their traditional role as gatekeepers, women are expected to wait to be approached and to screen suitors.
Men are expected to make the first (sexual) move, and women are to determine how far they will go (Rathus, 176). With this being stated, we can see that Robert is always out of the picture, but her co0worker isn’t and he certainly has had no problem what so ever approaching Katy, and even doing so in a manner that she is contemplating laying down with this man. There are some other things that Robert and Katy might both be struggling with. What if Katy feels like Robert isn’t attracted to her as much as she is to him, so she feels rejection and she turns her attraction to someone else? They say that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but what if the beholder is never there to see the beauty. Katy could also be in a position where she feels that she is not really getting the warmth, assertiveness, the honesty that she needs to get from her husband because he is always absent. If this may be the case, maybe Katy finds these things in her co-worker. Maybe, just maybe they have the attraction-similarity clause going. It is something that you never know is existent between two people until someone of importance is out of the picture every once in a while. There is also a possibility that the “Morning and Evening Star Love” that Katy felt for Robert when they were together so long ago has absolutely faded and there is really no way to get it back at least in her mind. And now that this sort of love has dissipated between them, she has found this love again with someone else that has even helped her see what romantic love is like and this is what Katy really wants. These are just a few of the things that Katy may be struggling with. In hindsight, there are so many things that are wrong with the relationship and we really do now know the full story, however, we can tell that Robert and Katy have somehow lost their open line of communication with each other. Believe it or not, communication is key to making a relationship work. Robert and Katy need to make sure that they know how to open a conversation with one another as well as keep the small talk consistent while Robert is away on business and Katy is at home. Those small conversations can keep the relationship fresh and new. These small conversations can also lead to some of the best intimacy because you really feel like you are crossing paths and really divulging yourselves with one another. In order to make it work Katy has to be willing to look in the mirror and see who and what is really important and not just something that is spur of the moment. I am positive that she will make it work with her husband.

Works Cited

Rathus, S. Human sexuality in a world of diversity. (8 ed.). Allyn & Bacon.

Cited: Rathus, S. Human sexuality in a world of diversity. (8 ed.). Allyn & Bacon.