Guide: (holding his handbook unsure of himself)
Hello Everyone and welcome to the into the wild jungle expedition company. My name is ______________ and I will be your guide for the duration of this jungle tour. As you can see were in a real jungle with real animals so we have a few rules we need to tell you about before we begin. 1 : Be sure to turn off your cell phones, it drives the monkeys wild. 2: Don’t use Flash Photography it’ll blind the birds and they’ll crash into a tree. 3: Ohh this is a good one, Be aware that this is a real jungle and the animals are not pets. Don’t try to pull their tails or poke them with sticks. And just a word from the wise, be prepared to run faster than your friends if the tigers start chasing you. Also you need to know about the emergency exits located, ughh over there and ugh there’s one, and way back there in the back. I guess this might be a good time to inform you that this is my first day on the job, Im actually an ice cream salesman, but not to worry I have my trusty jungle guide handbook and I took a two hour training course this morning. Before we begin I must tell you a story that the locals told me. The story of a man and his friend Sir Hugo First and Sir George Jones. They journeyed into this very jungle over 45 years ago and was never heard from again. But as long as your with someone who is experienced, or has this handbook you have nothing to worry about. This leads me to my final question: Does Anyone here have acual experience in the jungle? (Wait) I was afraid of that. Oh well well only be staying in the jungle for a few short days. Lets get started on our expedition. (walks toward a plant on stage and opens his handbook and makes it obvious he is reading as he points at the plant) As you can see , The jungle is home to many beautiful plants and flowers, this is the flowering Tiki bush. Hugo: Burp in the distance
Guide: (suddenly hears noise form distance and is visibly frightened) What was that did anyone hear that everyone be quiet. There is obviously something dangerous coming this way. (the guide will timidly approach the puppet area and begin to look around as if trying to figure out what it is) Hugo: (from a distance) I know it must be somewhere in this direction. come on George. George (from a distance) Hugo the Gas Ex Tree is the other way. Hugo: We wouldn’t be lookin for it if you hadn’t made me eat those bug tacos again. (as Hugo and George are looking right guide is looking left and both unknowingly approach each other from the rear and turn to face each other. Guide is startled and jumps into a martial arts pose as if ready to defend himself) (George and Hugo look at each other)
George : (to Hugo) Must be a native. Don’t know where he from though wearing those clothes. Hugo: (looking at the guide raises his hand) Howww Do ya do? (Guide says nothing and keeps pose)
Hugo: (loud and slow) Hello can you hear me?
George: Must not speak English try that jungle dialect you learned. Hugo : Let me see…. Oh… Ohh-gala-moo-gando….
George: kind of a dumb animal isn’t he?
Guide: Don’t come any closer
George: Ohhh he speaks
Hugo: Whats that? What did you say?
Guide: Get Back
Hugo: (laughing) No need to be afraid young man were hungry but not enough to bite you. Guide: (dropping his pose) Who says Im afraid?
George: Look in the mirror.
Hugo: George , be nice. You do look like a big ol chicken.
Guide: im not a chicken im just protecting all these people that trusted me to get them through the jungle. (Hugo and George turn to look out toward the audience)
George and Hugo: (simultaneously) WHAOOOO
George : Well what do you know a whole tribe of little native people. Guide: Their not natives were all together im a guide with the into the wild jungle expedition company. And im leading an expedition Hugo: Never heard of it.
George: Sounds fun!
Hugo: well why didn’t you say so! Were on an expedition as well. Please to meet you....