Thoughts on Love Dating and Marriage

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Paulette LeeMay 17, 2011
Professor Kim FelsenthalInterviews

Thoughts on Dating, Love and Marriage
There are many different thoughts about dating, love and marriage. I had the pleasure of interviewing six co-workers from different lifestyle regarding their views on these matters. I will compare their thoughts with the theories of love and attachment. The social science theories that help us understand the components and processes of love include attachment theory, Reiss’s wheel theory of love, Sternberg’s triangular theory of love, Lee’s research on the styles of loving, and exchange theories. Many people perceive marriage as an important occasion in their lives, while others take marriage for granted and not that serious. Do people just hate each other after a while? What happens when the vows are in place, do people get too relax into their real selves? Or is it just unrealistic today? Dan a Gay Caucasian 43 yr. old male feels that marriage is fading away. He doesn’t know if people understand what they are entering into, rather it is love or lust. Dan feels that these idealistic dreams often sweep people off of their feet and then in a few years or less – Reality Hits – Ouch! “Marriage is no longer a bringing together of a family, business or wealth.” It is actually based on this strange concept called love and with the concept of family to some people. Families are not the stable, strong and the dominant group that is shaping the young. “Families are unstable and weak however bonds are weaker.” As far as Gay marriages goes Dan feels that it should be legal and that it should not be called or treated and different than a marriage. Even though the church doesn’t rule the populace anymore Dan feels that marriage should be a legal coupling and not a religious coupling. Then he yelled “WHY DON’T PEOPLE STOP SAYING MARRIAGE IS SOME SACRED INSTITUTION THAT CANNOT BE DARKENED BY THE EVIL GAYS. WITH THE DIVORCE RATE THAT WE HAVE, the agreement that marriage is some sacred institution just rings hollow. Dan feels that an arranged marriage seems to last longer than marriage of choice and that people seem to grow to love each other that are put together by religion or family. However he will never support the mandating of an arranged marriage. Dan was heartbroken over premarital sex due to people not being responsible and protecting themselves. It saddened him to think about the many unwanted babies and the quantity of single mothers that we have in the economy today. These children and mothers are really being robbed of the American Dream. Dan believes that some people can find love on the internet the same way that his mom found her soul mate there. He believes that everyone should be happy. Next I interviewed three Caucasian women, Marcie a29yr old woman divorced once and remarried again with one child by the second marriage. Nikki, divorce twice and she is single mother of two with one child that diagnosed as being autistic. Then there is Kaitlyn a 22yr old white bisexual lady. Even though these women came from different beliefs and lifestyles their opinions on these issues were pretty much the same. They believe that choosing a lover, a husband and a partner is based on one’s personality and the way that they were raised. All three believes that people should live together before getting married. Nikki and Marcie do not believe in open marriages and feels that an open marriage allows each other to cheat and be with someone else. Kaitlyn on the other hand feel that an individual can love more than one person. She is all for open marriages. It’s funny, but all three women have found their recent husband or lover on the internet. They seem to be happy and would recommend internet dating to their friends. Marcie and Kaitlyn believe in premarital sex while Nikki is still deep-rooted by some of her family beliefs which are not to have sex until married. As you can see love is beyond constraints in these women...
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