Stoners
Process Approach Assignment
English 22
March 10, 2014
Stoners are a mothers worst nightmare. No parent wants to wake up to the smell of marijuana. No parent wants their child smoking those "dutch masters". There are many ways to identify if your child is a stoner. If your child's diet consist majority of cereal and corner market burritos, he may be a stoner. Cereal is the staple of any stoner’s diet. It’s fast, tasty, and kills the cottonmouth. But every once in awhile stoners need protein, which is why God invented hot pockets. When it comes to a lighter, beware. If your kid always has a lighter in their pocket or vehicle, yet they don’t smoke cigarettes or own candles, chances are good your child is a stoner. Of course, your kid could just REALLY be into fireworks, so look for additional identifiers. Listen to the music your child listens too. Take a look through the person’s music collection, and if there is lots of Phish, Grateful Dead, Sublime, 311, etc, then you may have identified your child as a stoner. Another way to identify if your child is a stoner is he brings home an F on his math test, but is a wiz at fractions. They can’t add 2 + 2, or calculate the tip on a dinner bill, but if you ask them what 1/4 plus 1/8 is they all of a sudden become a mathematician. Parents, if your child seems to be fascinated by the number ’420′, you may have a stoner on your hands. Anytime the clock strikes 4:20 p.m., or the number 420 pops up in anyway, it really gets stoners excited. Look for change in your child's patterns of coming and going. If they are staying up much later than you, for no legitimate reason, or if they are coming home late from school or leaving the house without an explanation. Take note on unusual items. Devices like pipes, grinders, and rolling papers are strong indicators of marijuana use. This is about the strongest evidence any parent would need. When confronted, the likely excuse will be "I was just holding it for a friend so
English 22
March 10, 2014
Stoners are a mothers worst nightmare. No parent wants to wake up to the smell of marijuana. No parent wants their child smoking those "dutch masters". There are many ways to identify if your child is a stoner. If your child's diet consist majority of cereal and corner market burritos, he may be a stoner. Cereal is the staple of any stoner’s diet. It’s fast, tasty, and kills the cottonmouth. But every once in awhile stoners need protein, which is why God invented hot pockets. When it comes to a lighter, beware. If your kid always has a lighter in their pocket or vehicle, yet they don’t smoke cigarettes or own candles, chances are good your child is a stoner. Of course, your kid could just REALLY be into fireworks, so look for additional identifiers. Listen to the music your child listens too. Take a look through the person’s music collection, and if there is lots of Phish, Grateful Dead, Sublime, 311, etc, then you may have identified your child as a stoner. Another way to identify if your child is a stoner is he brings home an F on his math test, but is a wiz at fractions. They can’t add 2 + 2, or calculate the tip on a dinner bill, but if you ask them what 1/4 plus 1/8 is they all of a sudden become a mathematician. Parents, if your child seems to be fascinated by the number ’420′, you may have a stoner on your hands. Anytime the clock strikes 4:20 p.m., or the number 420 pops up in anyway, it really gets stoners excited. Look for change in your child's patterns of coming and going. If they are staying up much later than you, for no legitimate reason, or if they are coming home late from school or leaving the house without an explanation. Take note on unusual items. Devices like pipes, grinders, and rolling papers are strong indicators of marijuana use. This is about the strongest evidence any parent would need. When confronted, the likely excuse will be "I was just holding it for a friend so