Reflection of the "Thought Police vs. Outer Party" Game

During the "Thought Police vs. Outer Party" game, I learned the importance of the value of independence and freedom. Previous to playing the game, I would consistently wear whatever I wanted, I would carry my books whatever way I wanted to, and I was allowed to live my own life. But the game gave me a new perspective, not only on Winston and his hardships, but on my peers. While engaged in the game, due to the secrecy developed within the tension of ignorance, I felt paranoid and oppressed. Because nobody knew what role everybody in the class played, there were underlying tensions that lead to distrust. Personally, I could not trust anybody, not even my closest friends in the class. I felt like I was always being watched. Being worried about whether getting caught justified the uncomfortable feeling I had. Then I realized that this was Winston’s life always being watched while unwillingly obeying the rules of the party. The situation was bad, having my classmates betray each other, which taught me that there is no place safe for individualistic freedom. The first day we started the "Thought Police versus Outer Party" game, I was very conscious of myself and my surroundings. All day and every day, I would keep a mental checklist of the rules that I had to follow. Doing this taught me the theme of what I wanted to do versus what I needed to do. For example, one of my peers, who is not associated with AP Language, asked me why I was wearing a yellow leaf. I had to lie to her and say "Oh... I'm just taking risks, as far as style goes." I felt stupid for saying that! I really wanted to tell her what is going on. If I was allowed to tell her, she could have possibly helped me find out who the thought police was. Speaking of having to wear my yellow-leaf necklace, the third day into the "Thought Police versus Outer Party" game, I overslept. Once I woke up, I put sweatpants on and ran out the front door to the bus. I didn't even realize how I looked that morning.