Orange Juice Monologue
I hate orange juice yet I want orange juice right now more than I ever wanted anything. Every day I want something I can never have yesterday it was to be able to have a bath and today its orange juice.
Daisy says that once I fully accept that I'm dead that all things that I want will go away. Daisy is what is known as a helper, she helps the newly deceased come to terms with being dead so they can move on from the land of the living and join the other spirits.
I have fully accepted that I'm dead not that she'll believe me. I think it's become pretty obvious to me I was dead when I attended my own funeral.
It was actually rather a nice service a bit depressing though I mean I would have preferred laugher and people wearing bright colors …show more content…
Rule 1: No Haunting the Living.
There went my plan to haunt people I didn't like when I was alive mind due that rule has probably spared me being traumatized by seeing something extremely gross.
Rule 2: Never Do Anything That Proves the Existence of Ghosts.
This is to stop the living contacting us and disturbing those who have fully moved on.
There are hundreds of more rules of things that I am not allowed to do, but the one I find most hilarious is Rule 398: No possessing a chicken that belongs to someone who has the letter E in their name.
I mean I don't want to possess a chicken, but if I did how I am supposed to know if the person who owns it has the letter E in their name or not.
I have no idea who thinks up these rules and if anyone has ever done all of those things.
If you break one of the rules you end up in front of the Judge who Daisy describes as a humorless type of guy.
He apparently once dished out the punishment of putting a ghost in a slug that was about to have salt poured over it, the ghost was charged with breaking Rule 19: Not allowed to possess a living person so you can drink
Daisy says that once I fully accept that I'm dead that all things that I want will go away. Daisy is what is known as a helper, she helps the newly deceased come to terms with being dead so they can move on from the land of the living and join the other spirits.
I have fully accepted that I'm dead not that she'll believe me. I think it's become pretty obvious to me I was dead when I attended my own funeral.
It was actually rather a nice service a bit depressing though I mean I would have preferred laugher and people wearing bright colors …show more content…
Rule 1: No Haunting the Living.
There went my plan to haunt people I didn't like when I was alive mind due that rule has probably spared me being traumatized by seeing something extremely gross.
Rule 2: Never Do Anything That Proves the Existence of Ghosts.
This is to stop the living contacting us and disturbing those who have fully moved on.
There are hundreds of more rules of things that I am not allowed to do, but the one I find most hilarious is Rule 398: No possessing a chicken that belongs to someone who has the letter E in their name.
I mean I don't want to possess a chicken, but if I did how I am supposed to know if the person who owns it has the letter E in their name or not.
I have no idea who thinks up these rules and if anyone has ever done all of those things.
If you break one of the rules you end up in front of the Judge who Daisy describes as a humorless type of guy.
He apparently once dished out the punishment of putting a ghost in a slug that was about to have salt poured over it, the ghost was charged with breaking Rule 19: Not allowed to possess a living person so you can drink