Narrative Essay On Identity
Something that I’m processing through, is my relationship with the social world (and navigating through it). Finding where my place is, and what to do. When I was younger, outside of other aspects of my life, what made me “me” was being biracial. Woman. Seeing those social dynamics in the house, in my community, those representations of myself made my proud. I would talk all about being biracial, what it meant to me to be mixed, “grey”. I took a stance and embraced my White mother and Black father, sharing my testament with my peers. That’s just what I was doing, and I could relate to a lot of people in that way; majority of my friends fell under that social location. Our image was reinforced through the media, and what was starting to take
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Areas that people didn’t like to talk about, or even if they do it’s limited. I felt isolated, that I couldn’t relate anymore, and I don’t. That struggle has been hard for me because I feel like I’m choosing to be outside of a community I once found refuge in. To choose to transcend identity left me without a home because I no longer felt that identifying within the constructs of the social world aligned with my personal values. I longed for connection, oneness, fluidity, difference without engaging in the politics of better or worse. I didn’t know how to not identify personally, but still find kinship in my peers. To understand the world we live in, and why things are the way they are, without my relationship to the social world changing. To be where I’m at in my life, validate that, and find a home within this world. I don’t know, I just, don’t know. I didn’t feel it was possible, I didn’t feel connected. That if I don’t identify, and can’t identity due to the discipline of my values, that I wouldn’t identify, and I shouldn’t. No matter how vulnerable, exposed, and difficult that made my life. To respect my boundaries and identity, how I choose to go about it. To create space where I can embrace the “yet” in this social world, and validate the ever-expansive mind with taking in additional information. To be able to do that, and
Areas that people didn’t like to talk about, or even if they do it’s limited. I felt isolated, that I couldn’t relate anymore, and I don’t. That struggle has been hard for me because I feel like I’m choosing to be outside of a community I once found refuge in. To choose to transcend identity left me without a home because I no longer felt that identifying within the constructs of the social world aligned with my personal values. I longed for connection, oneness, fluidity, difference without engaging in the politics of better or worse. I didn’t know how to not identify personally, but still find kinship in my peers. To understand the world we live in, and why things are the way they are, without my relationship to the social world changing. To be where I’m at in my life, validate that, and find a home within this world. I don’t know, I just, don’t know. I didn’t feel it was possible, I didn’t feel connected. That if I don’t identify, and can’t identity due to the discipline of my values, that I wouldn’t identify, and I shouldn’t. No matter how vulnerable, exposed, and difficult that made my life. To respect my boundaries and identity, how I choose to go about it. To create space where I can embrace the “yet” in this social world, and validate the ever-expansive mind with taking in additional information. To be able to do that, and