I do not form bonds with others very well. I have only one close friend. We have been friends since kindergarten. Apart from her I find it relatively difficult to be close to other people. I do not let people get very close to me and still push people away. I find it hard to convince myself that I can depend on someone and therefore I never put much trust in the relationship. My husband tells me I am good at making acquaintances but have no friends, in which I have to agree he is very correct. This ultimately leaves me a little lonely. While I have him and two, almost three wonderful children, I lack the intimacy and bond with other adults my age. This leads to some sense of aloneness and I have no one to depend on when I really need it.
I do think that my attachment style is very similar as it was with my parents. I never developed a strong emotional bond growing up. While I knew my parents loved each other they did not really express it, at least not in front of us. I can say looking back I maybe saw my parents kiss one or two times. While all my needs were met and I was well provided for I did still avoid getting close even to them. I did not share my feelings with them and when asked I tended to push them away and just avoid the …show more content…
One thing might be that one suffered a long bout of rocky, unstable, or abusive relationships therefore they changed from a secure to an avoidant style. Also major negative life events can change the attachment style negatively such as a suicide of a parent. Just as with negative changes, an attachment style can be improved also. Things that could change an avoidant style to a secure style could consist of having a partner with a secure attachment style and a healthy marriage. One can work on building a better attachment style through therapy and doing things such as identifying, honoring, and assertively expressing their emotional needs. Another big thing is to practice accepting yourself as a person. I am a strong believer in the saying that in order to love and respect someone else you must first love and respect