In recent times, the throne of Scotland has been filled with very small men. These so-called sovereigns have abused their God given power to their own pitiful ends instead of using it the way it was meant to. They spend our taxes foolishly so that they can live in splendor, chase their enemies to the grave, and insure that the common man cannot rise against them. They live in fear of falling from power to the point where any who question them are imprisoned, killed, or simply disappear. It is only because we are currently between kings that I feel safe to speak my mind on the subject. These half-baked monarchs sit in chairs of inscrutable power, hiding behind walls built on the backs of those they are meant to serve, their days filled with plans to cement their positions as absolute rulers of Heaven and Earth. In this edition of my column I beseech the people reading this to take a stand against the corrupt nobles and demand that we get the king that this land of ours has needed for so long.
The one who we trust with the appointment of governing us must stand up to a certain measure in my opinion. He must be no more important than any other man under God, but he must also be able to fill the duty that no other is qualified for. I have a list of specific qualities that such a man must posses if he wishes to be my king, here in this issue is that list.
The man who is to be king must be both loved and respected by the people. He must do what he can to please them but not give in to shameless gimmicks to appear that he is doing what is right. He must be a role model to our children and an inspiration to us all. He must listen to the plights of his people and do what is in reason to fix the problems that we face on a daily basis.
The one who is to be king must be always ready to change his policies, but not to the whim of popular opinion. He must be flexible, after all, if the mast of a ship cannot be bent in the wind then it shall...