Top-Rated Free Essay
Preview

love and respect

Good Essays
1171 Words
Grammar
Grammar
Plagiarism
Plagiarism
Writing
Writing
Score
Score
love and respect
Koyate 1
Idriss Koyate
Mr. Porter
Bible Doctrine
20 January 2015
Love and Respect Women want to be loved and men want to be respected. In the introduction, Dr. Emerson says love is not enough and he shows us this couple who went to his conference in the right time. They explain how they went to his Love and Respect conference and all of Dr. Emerson’s methods for marriage. The book talks about the crazy cycle, the energizing cycle, and the rewarded cycle. In part one Dr. Emerson is starting to explain the crazy cycle. Without love, she reacts, and without respect he reacts and it goes in circles. Women just want to be loved by their husbands and they are also tender people. Dr. Emerson goes back in time to his life and he could see his mom crying out for love and his dad desperately wanting respect. Another important part of a marriage communication and deciphering the other spouse’s code. Women look at the world through pink sunglasses and men look at the world through blue sunglasses. In chapter 3, Dr. Emerson explains why she won’t respect him and why he won’t love. Not only should women be loved unconditionally loved, but men should be unconditionally respected. Part two describes the energizing cycle. This chapter applies the Love and Respect Connection in marriage. Dr. Emerson also shares principles, techniques, and common sense to help husbands and wives how to practice the Love and Respect message on a daily basis. The author uses two acronyms: C-O-U-P-L-E- Closeness, Openness, Understanding, Peacemaking, Loyalty, and Esteem. C-H-A-I-R-S covers advice for wives and includes separate chapters on Conquest, Hierarchy, Authority, Insight, Relationship, and Sexuality. It takes hard work to stay on the Energizing Cycle. Part three talks about the rewarded cycle. It says his love regardless of her respect regardless of his love, etc. Throughout the book Dr. Emerson emphasized that if the husband and wife are both people of basic goodwill, they can use the Love and Respect principles to make a bad marriage into a good one and a good marriage into a great one. But the following questions pop up. What if your husband doesn’t show you love when you how him respect? What if your wife doesn’t show you respect as you show her love? If you get no results from practicing Love and Respect, why bother? The Rewarded Cycle gives you the answers to these questions. The Rewarded Cycle is the most important part of this book. “For from within, out of the heart…proceed…envy, slander, pride, and foolishness” (Mark 7:21-23). In conclusion, one of the favorite analogies in the Love and Respect Conferences is comparing women and men to pink and blue. Now pink and blue can make God’s purple. Keeping the Crazy Cycle in its cage is really important in a relationship. Prayer is also important. James 4:2 states, “You do not have because you do not ask.” Dr. Emerson ends the book with the prayer of commitment and it is a good way to end.

Koyate 3
Response
When Dr. Emerson comes right out in the beginning of the book and says women need to be loved and husbands need to be respected, I completely agreed with him. Even though I am npt married or engaged I still see the impact of women needing love and men needing respect through my parents. Now I am in no position to judge, but I saw my mom go through two divorces and simply there was no love or respect in the relationship. As I read this book and understand more why my parents divorced and how this method could have helped them. Now I am in a relationship and some of this does apply to me. First thing that applied to me was communication and deciphering the code. Communication is key in a relationship. When one of us are not talking it could make a situation much worse than it needs to be. Over the months of being best friends with her I have figured out most of her code. For example when she says, “I’m fine” that means there is something wrong. So figuring out the other person’s code and communicating with the other person is really important. The crazy cycle can easily pop up in a couple’s relationship. Now that I have read this book I can realize that the crazy cycle showed up in my parent’s relationship which cause a divorce. Without love, my mom would react. Without respect, my dad would react. In the relationship I am in now sometimes the crazy cycle appears. For example if I do not show her love and compassion she will definitely let me know. Dr. Emerson using the two acronyms for husbands was a really important section for husbands. I like how Emerson says the first few seconds set the tone because it is true. If my dad

Koyate 4 came into the house after he or my mom had a long day, all my mom wanted to do was talk face to face with him because she missed him. But one problem would be he did not want to and she would which would drive my mom crazy. This also can apply to me in my relationship. Sometimes we could go for days not seeing each other, and when we finally do see each other I am on my phone or not talking with her. I am pretty sure if I just talk to her face to face she would feel loved and that is important. In the beginning part three shows the reader persistence and trust. We just have to trust God to work. I think one reasons my parents ended up in divorce was my dad was not a Christian and I do not think my mom had the persistence and trust in God to work in their relationship. I think a big part in a relationship and probably the most important part is the relationship with the person and Jesus Christ. Having a relationship with Christ is most important then comes your spouse. I know sometimes it can be hard especially with me trying to balance work, sports, a girlfriend and my relationship with Christ. But I know my ultimate goal is my relationship with Christ. In the conclusion Dr. Emerson talks about the whole pink and blue comparisons. I do believe husbands can look at the world with one pair of sunglasses and women can look at the world in completely different sunglasses. The most important part to me is using the pink and blue to make God’s purple. One way Dr. Emerson shows us is through prayer. My girlfriend and I try every night while we are on the phone to set aside for God in a time of prayer. Sometimes it can be hard but overall it will help us both spiritually and make God’s purple.

You May Also Find These Documents Helpful

  • Good Essays

    Most couples when found upon the concept of a wedding are not handed a guide book to a successful loving marriage. Couples appear to have a vague understanding of their commitment to marriage. A long life journey full of unexpected surprises, and adjusting accommodations. Eric Bartels, the author of “My Problem With Her Anger,” contends he feels compelled by the division of household work, and the lack of support from his wife. Such as lack of communication and anger management. Conversely, in “The Difference Between a Happy Marriage and Miserable One: Chores,” Wendy Klein, Carolina Izquierdo, and Thomas N Bradbury describe how different couples within a marriage handle chores, depending on a respect for mutual boundaries, support…

    • 505 Words
    • 3 Pages
    Good Essays
  • Powerful Essays

    In this book, Gottman & Silver (1999) present sound marriage advice based on years of study. Chapters 1 and 2 cover preventing and predicting divorce. They focus on keeping the negatives from outweighing the positives. Creating an emotionally intelligent marriage involves being in touch with your spouse’s emotions (Gottman & Silver, 1999).…

    • 1252 Words
    • 4 Pages
    Powerful Essays
  • Powerful Essays

    Although much of Cloud and Townsend’s (1999) approach to relational health could be easily applied to most human relationships, as the title of the book implies, marriage is the context from which their thesis is explained. Marriage, they contend, is “first and foremost about love” (Cloud and Townsend, 1999, p.9). However, as they are quick to point out, love by itself is simply not enough for a marriage to thrive. They suggest love is assaulted and effectively weakened when freedom and responsibility problems are present within the marital relationship. Additionally, they assert that freedom and responsibility are two vital elements necessary for a healthy and loving marriage relationship. When freedom and responsibility are present within a relationship…

    • 1370 Words
    • 6 Pages
    Powerful Essays
  • Good Essays

    Tamed Wife?

    • 766 Words
    • 4 Pages

    Marriage is a very complex relationship, simply because, this vow is a life-long commitment with a family to sustain ahead. Whether a marriage will have a happy or tragic ending depends on the way a husband a wife would keep their relationship. Julie Iovine’s article, Yes-Dearing Your Way to a Happy Marriage, introduces Laura Doyle’s Surrendered Wife, which explains what an ideal wife is in her view that will keep a marriage fruitful. These opinions encourage wives to practice different ways to please their husbands- ways I find absurd and irrational.…

    • 766 Words
    • 4 Pages
    Good Essays
  • Good Essays

    In the essay “The Radical Idea of marrying for Love,” Stephanie Coontz voices her opinion on George Shaw theory, the expectations of love and how it has changed over time. Shaw believes that marriage is “an institution that brings together two people under the influence of the most violent, most insane, most delusive and most transient of passions (Coontz 378). Marriage overtime had different variations depending the time frame in which it was in, and the culture that influenced it.…

    • 1173 Words
    • 5 Pages
    Good Essays
  • Better Essays

    In examining a triad of emphases, Part 2 focuses on preparing pre-marital couples, maximizing stable marriages, and repairing marriages in distress. It looks at the engagement period as offering an especially important opportunity for mentors (Parrott & Parrott, 2005). Mentoring is seen as offering help in fostering healthy habits that last a lifetime, among which are conflict resolution, money matters, and intimacy. This segment shows that mentors help…

    • 1316 Words
    • 4 Pages
    Better Essays
  • Good Essays

    Since the earliest of times, women are said to be very emotional individuals. They cry, they laugh, they yell, and then cry some more, all in the span of a day. Compared to men it may seem like women even exaggerate their emotions. There are instances, however, where both men and women should show an equal amount of emotion, yet they still do not. In John Donne’s poem, “A Valediction: Forbidding Mourning,” the author is leaving for some time and he remains unusually calm even though he will be without his wife. Through metaphors, Donne is able to explain to his wife that she needs to stay calm because their love is strong and they will surpass it all.…

    • 534 Words
    • 3 Pages
    Good Essays
  • Better Essays

    Bibliography: Ronald E. Hawkins, Strengthening Marital Intimacy (Grand Rapids, Mich.: Baker Pub Group, 1991), Direct Digital on IPad.…

    • 2014 Words
    • 9 Pages
    Better Essays
  • Good Essays

    Coontz shows how different the feelings of love and marriage were. She brings the reader to a different place and time with the interesting details about love and marriage. She stated that the Greek philosopher, Plato, believed that love was not an emotion suited for marriage. Love, for some societies, was first and foremost meant for the extended family not for husband and wife. Coontz also writes about the ancient Indian culture, they believed love was meant to develop after a marriage had begun and to do so prior would cause problems for the couple socially. She writes about how the Europeans felt the emotions brought on by love were signs of insanity and could be cured only by the act of sex, and not necessarily with ones marital partner. Coontz states that the Chinese saw love between married couples as a threat to the dynamics of the entire family. She also shares details of Europe, during the twelfth century; infidelity in marriage was not viewed as taboo. In fact, true love was meant for intimacy outside of the marriage. It was common knowledge that kings and queens, for centuries, married for…

    • 971 Words
    • 4 Pages
    Good Essays
  • Good Essays

    According to William Penn, what is the essence of a good marriage—and what force is most likely to undermine true love?…

    • 647 Words
    • 3 Pages
    Good Essays
  • Better Essays

    Summary: Dr. Hawkins has done a wonderful job in presenting the essential elements of what it takes to have a Biblically sound intimate and committed marriage. In Strengthening Marital Intimacy (1991), he has captured the two foundational truths, intimacy and commitment, makes a good marriage into a great marriage. It is not enough to know the Word of God intellectually there must be a real surrendering to the sovereign will of God. To do it will transform a life of commitment to God and to the marriage. The key concepts presented in this book cover marital intimacy, commitment, wisdom, reality, God’s sovereignty, the person, sexuality, communication and companionship.…

    • 1697 Words
    • 7 Pages
    Better Essays
  • Powerful Essays

    To have a successful and lasting marriage, the individuals involved must lay a foundation consisting of key components to make it last. A format and set of rules must be followed or established in order to make it a success. Sadly, today, because of the current high divorce rate, which is about 50%, couples constantly face marriage problems and marriage issues constantly arise. In unhappy couples the main focus is mainly on reciprocating negatively, in which a positive end-result is hard to procure. While on the other end of the spectrum, in happy couples, the main focus is to progress and to incorporate benchmarks to grow more as one. It’s the emotional feelings invested that will generate a positive outcome if a proper foundation of components is laid out from the beginning. The main focus throughout this paper will be to discuss how a successful marriage is achieved and the key components needed to achieve such a task.…

    • 2100 Words
    • 9 Pages
    Powerful Essays
  • Powerful Essays

    Most marriages are formed when two people love each other and share the same aspirations in life. Once couples are married their views begin to change. They realize that marriage is hard and after having kids it’s even harder. Hope Edelman, in her essay “The Myth of Co-Parenting: How It Was Supposed to be. How It Was,” feels frustrated with her husband because of his lack of participation in their marriage. On the other hand, Eric Bartels in his essay “My Problem with Her Anger,” is frustrated with his wife because she is angry with him all the time. Though these essays address marriage from both a male and female perspective, they both discuss idealistic views of marriage, lack of communication, blame, and how to fix their problem.…

    • 1346 Words
    • 6 Pages
    Powerful Essays
  • Good Essays

    Sexual Scripts

    • 556 Words
    • 3 Pages

    Bibliography: Cohen, Theodore F., Christine Devault, and Bryan Strong. The Marriage and Family Experience: Intimate Relationships in a Changing Society. 10 ed. Belmont, CA: Wadsworth Publishing, 2008 p. 191…

    • 556 Words
    • 3 Pages
    Good Essays
  • Better Essays

    Love and Loyality

    • 1055 Words
    • 5 Pages

    "Antinoos, it is impossible for me to turn out of doors the mother who bore me and brought me up." (p.25, Homer, The Odyssey) This quote is a direct example of love and loyalty between a mother and son. Telemachos loves his mother and will stand by her decision, he says he won’t force her to marry; he is loyal to her, which represents the idea of loyalty between family. Love and loyalty are major themes of The Odyssey that are constantly surfacing throughout the book. Love and loyalty are shown in many different aspects: through husband and wife, father and son, mother and son, boy and nurse and others.…

    • 1055 Words
    • 5 Pages
    Better Essays

Related Topics