Language Style Matching

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Language-Style Matching
Kealohikehau Stancil
COM 200 Interpersonal Communication
William Saltmarsh
September 24th, 2012

Language-Style Matching
Being in a committed relationship for one year, one month, and four days I still believe in the saying “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus.” [ (Gray, 1992) ] I love my boyfriend but there are times when communication is tough. I don’t think we have that big of an issue but there is some kind of disconnect. Maybe it has something to do with our language-style matching or LSM not being the same?

Language-Style matching is described as an unconscious verbal communication. It signifies “not how much two people like each other but how much each is paying attention to what the other says.” (Bower, 2010) We both love each other dearly and would do anything for each other. We are each other’s best friend. We are also two different people. He’s a planner and I’m more of a live by each day type of gal. It annoys him I’m this way sometimes but also at times he enjoys this side of me because it reminds him that life is too short. His planner side keeps me grounded and holds me accountable for my goals in life. He supports my goal of finishing my degree. He’s always asking and making sure I’m studying and getting work done. Sometimes communication is tough between the two of us on the simplest of things. For example; the other day I mentioned I didn’t want to cook and that we should go out to eat for dinner. He jumped on board and asked, “What type of food was I in the mood for?” I answered back with, “Let’s try that Chinese restaurant we always drive by?” He then asked me to pull up the Yelp reviews, which I did, and informed him there were some good reviews and bad but overall it’s about average. The restaurant is across the street from our place so we proceeded to head over. While walking over he decided to pull up another restaurants review that he wanted to try. He didn’t say much and when he was done looking at...
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