Professor Leiter
ENC1101
14 September 2014
An Epiphany If i had a dollar for everytime someone told me "The truth hurts." I would be worth six figures! In my 18 years, i've heard this statement more often than i can count. I think the most life changing moment of truth or atleast the one i would have alot to say about; caused me the greatest pain. This is when i realized my first love was my worst love. Unfortunately, when i became conscious of this it was already too late, i was in too deep. Everyone has had a "First Love" and for most, their first love is their first everything. your "First Everything" basically open up a brand new world for you and show you things you've never seen before and make you feel emotions you've never felt before. The last person that opened up a new world for you is your mother. Everybody knows what kind of attachment a baby has to their mother. In the same sense it's almost as if you have this attachment to your first love. No one wants to break up with their mother! This was my situation. i was stuck in love. Beimg stuck in love is a girl's worst fear. It means your so in love that you ignore all the signs of why you shouldn't be with that person. Completely disregarding that the bad is indeed outweighing the good. It's heartbreaking having to realize that the one you love is also your worst enemy. You feel like their's no escaping your situation. Your going to get really frustrated, your going to make threats to leave knowing your not going anywhere. You feel defeated! In that time, my heart always won the war against my mind. So. your probably wondering what has my first love done to make me want to give up on him? Well, he had just gotten out of a two-year relationship when we met, which i was already skeptical about; but if a man tells you he's ready and you really, really like him, your going to take his word for it. It's all about trust right? This is probably when my heart first kicked in. I eventually found out that his ex-girlfriend was still in love with him. to everyone else it was frowned upon as if it was one-sided. After they broke up she was still saying they were together. So as well as everyone else thought she was going through some sort of denial, or she was just crazy... Ofcourse He made it clear that i had nothing to worry about , rumors were rumors, nothing could come in between us. After about 3-6 months of us talking/being in a relationship, the rumors weren't rumors anymore, the whispers turned into voices, everyone at this point was saying their still together. He was entertaining her existence and being seen with her. this ofcourse shut me down because you can't compete with someone that has fully had his heart before. You don't know if what they had together was deeper then you and hime could ever get. To make it worse, he was also her "First Everything." I thought this was my breaking point. But just when i thought things couldnt get any worse. OH YEA, ypu guessed it! they did... After this occurence. It became apparent that no matter what he did to hurt me, i always found a way to excuses for his wrong-doings because he would make promises and whisper sweet nothings in my ear. I went with the flow, hoping that things would change, fearing that once i gave up on him he would be done with her. You probably think this story is going to have a happy-ending. Well, technically that's impossible because i'm on the phone with him right now.
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