Drama Monologue

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Bless me father for I have sinned...
You see, lately I've been having impure thoughts about… (He trails off, his eyes red and full of tears.) Um…actually, I haven’t been doing very well lately. This is…the first time I’ve been in a church since my mum died. (He looks down, whispering) I think about her every day. I just...I wonder what she would say to me right now if she could see me and see how I've been living. (Pause) And I wonder if she knows that most days, I fall short of being the person that she wanted me to be. Or... (Crying) I wonder if she saw me take drugs. I took drugs last week father. And the thing is...I don't even know why I did it. You know, my life is pretty good, (Nods) it is. But...I was just searching for something to make it great. S-something to make it matter (Pause) so...I don't know, I guess last week when I had the chance to change that and it was…it was right there in front of me, I guess I was just scared to let that go. But I know it was wrong. And I want my mum to know that I... I want her to know that I am not that person. And I'm not going to be. I mean… She’s dead father. (Long pause) She overdosed on drugs and it’s… it’s all my fault. (In tears barely able to talk) My best friends… My best friend died last week.
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