Discuss the challenges and strengths of stepfamilies. If you remarried, what are things you could do to keep your remarriage satisfying and happy? 2/16/2014
Discuss the challenges and strengths of stepfamilies: The changes of stepfamilies are challenging for all family members because it is a new person that it is introduced and needs to be adapted and accepted. Whether it is a new stepdad or stepmom that is being introduced it could be hard for the kids to assimilate that that person will be a new family member living under their same roof. The most common challenge is that the kids don’t accept the stepmom or stepdad and they make their life a living hell so he or she will leave or vice versa. Another challenge is that children in stepfamilies are often more likely to experience emotional and behavioral problems. The child might feel that their mother or father will no longer pay attention to them because he/she will want to spend more time alone with their new partner. The emotional problems children go through are numerous: grief over losing their original family, feeling invaded, changes in house rules and regulations, feeling that stepdad/mom is trying to replace their mom or dad, and jealousy towards their stepdad or stepmom’s children. The couple also goes to conflict and fear. The couple will often be afraid that their new marriage will fail or that they will never be accepted by their stepchildren. It is true that there are numerous challenges towards stepfamilies but there are also strengths. For example, when one of the parents is missing, financial problems start to develop. When another person is introduced to the family that person cooperates with the financial expenses and ultimately the family has a better living due to combined incomes. Also, it is always good to have extra adults to take care of the children and make them feel safe.
If you remarried, what are things you could do to keep your remarriage satisfying and happy? When a remarriage happens, the first thing that has to be kept in mind is the children and making sure the stepfather or stepmother and the children get along to avoid conflict. Second, it is important to understand that if the ex-husband or wife is still in the life of the children they have to accept it and not make a problem out of it. It is also important to not compare your current partner with your ex and give the new partner his place. Keeping in mind the mistakes you made with the past partner is a good way of not committing them again and having a healthier relationship. Last but not least, communicating and letting you partner know how you feel and what you want is the key to a happy marriage. All together, I learned that there are so many emotional problems involved in building a stepfamily. Kids are really affected by the separation of their original family and it is difficult for them to accept a new member to the family. Children react differently depending on the situations and their personalities. I also learned that even though it is quite difficult it is possible and healthy for the kids to have another adult to give them love and to take care of them. It is normal for the kids to be nervous about living with a new person because at first he/she is a total stranger, therefore, the parents have to be understandable. I did not know that there were these many conflicts over stepfamilies but it is good to know and be informed about the different reactions kids and the adults have in these situations. I also learned that not just because one marriage did not work the new one will fail. It is possible to remarry and have a happy marriage if both partners are willing to make it work. It takes time and dedications to build any kind of family because conflicts are everywhere. In reality, all it takes is time and reinforcement in order to ultimately have a happy and satisfying remarriage.
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