To-day was simply marvelous! I got to spend time with my Gatsby and my lovely Nick as we toured the town. We drove around in Jay’s new breezer he just bought, expressly for me. Jay said that automobile had a temper, it purred and it hummed and it roared. Jay was having so much fun zipping around to-day, it really was lovely. Jay kept laughing, and I ab-so-lute-ly loved it. People have always told me I have a high, pealing laugh, like wind chimes on a slow breeze. Until to-day I don’t think I ever quite understood what they meant by that. But hearing Jay’s happiness dance on the wind made me realize why I and my own laughter are so sought after. Not last week I had finished reading a new book Nick had given me, Age of Innocence by that Edith Wharton, and I found myself thinking about that story to-night. While I do love my life now, and I’ll forever love my Gatsby, sometimes I do wish to go back. Perhaps start over, and never have lost my Gatsby in the first place. Back then life was so simple with him, and the only thing I worried about was what dress I was going to wear on our date that night, and such a concern seems nominal at best now. If I could actually go back, I know I wouldn’t marry my current brute of a husband. I’d have found a way to stay with my jaybird, and be happy. My Jay talks about our future together sometimes, and I still can’t get over his way with words. I’m not quite sure I could ever leave Tom; the paparazzi would have a field day if they found out, and I guess he is my husband after all. Still, part of me wants to go with my Jay and throw caution to the wind, and part of me wants to stay with Tom and keep caution by my side. I really do want to just take a break from this messy life sometimes, not die, just stop existing for a little bit. I don’t like thinking about all the chaos, I prefer to just think about good things. Like how I still can’t believe I’ve been reunited with my Gatsby. I‘m not...
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