Instructions: Copy and paste the following text into a document or create a document that contains the same information.
Using your essay in response to the unit's writing prompt, complete the following steps to improve your essay.
Essay With Revisions
1. Insert your entire essay here. Include any revisions your instructor asked you to make.
I. Brutus loved Rome and did not want to see it fall and crumple at the hands of Julius Caesar, therefore he was a patriot because of his actions. "Romans, countrymen, and lovers! Hear me for my cause, and be silent that you may hear: Believe me for my honor and have respect for mine honor that you may believe." Brutus is trying to get the townspeople to believe he is a great person and noble being, but Brutus Stabbed Caesar in the back- killing him. Brutus explains that while they must kill Caesar to save Rome from dictatorship, they must not kill Marc Anthony as well, or they will appear to be cold blooded killers in the eyes of the people rather than the defenders of the country. Brutus turned against Caesar a second time, helping to organize and lead the conspiracy that led to Caesar’s assassination
II. An excerpt from the reading stated that, Caesar looks at Brutus as Brutus stabs him and says "To you, Brutus!" Brutus was Caesar's good friend but Brutus betrayed him. Brutus killed Caesar and is basically telling Marc to be okay with it. He stabbed him because he thought it was for the good of Rome, not gaining anything for himself. Cassius fed Brutus lies and hateful thoughts so it was Cassius' fault.
III. Brutus is a patriot, he didn’t want to see Rome fall in the hands of Julius Caesar. “Our course will seem too bloody, Caius Cassius,To cut the head off and then hack the limbs,Like wrath in death and envy afterwards,For Antony is but a limb of Caesar.Let us be sacrificers but not butchers, Caius.We all stand up against the spirit of Caesar,”
Grammar
2. Check your essay for grammatical errors. Highlight or underline any parts of your essay that should be corrected.
3. Correct the grammatical errors you identified and place your revisions here.
Brutus explains that while they must kill Caesar to save Rome from dictatorship, they must not kill Marc Anthony as well
-Brutus explains that, in order to save Rome from the dictatorship it is becoming, they must kill Caesar. But in order to be safe they cannot kill Marc Anthony.
Brutus turned against Caesar a second time, helping to organize and lead the conspiracy that led to Caesar’s assassination
-Turning against Caesar for a second time, Brutus helped organize the build up to Caesars assassination.
Brutus was Caesar's good friend but Brutus betrayed him. Brutus killed Caesar and is basically telling Marc to be okay with it
-Although Brutus and Caesar seemed to be good friends, Brutus betrayed him. After Caesar was killed Brutus explained to Marc what had happened, telling him he had to be okay with it.
Transitions
4. Paste the transitions from your essay here.
- Although Brutus
- Brutus explains that
- An excerpt from
5. There should be at least one transition per paragraph. Based on what you found in your essay, what can you do to improve your transitions? Explain here.
I believe I had enough transitions
6. Use the transition sheet to help you revise your transitions. Put your revised transitions here.
Conclusion
7. Review your concluding paragraph.
Show what transition you have used to signal closure of the essay.
-I restated my claim
Explain how you have synthesized the argument.
-I made sure there was a counter claim to every claim.
Identify what you have done to challenge your readers.
I made sure there were parts they had to think about.
Review these details and determine how you can strengthen your conclusion.
-Adding more information
8. Revise your conclusion to make it stronger and place the revision here.
Brutus is a patriot, he didn’t want to see Rome fall in the hands of Julius Caesar. Of course he had to take many drastic actions to do so, but it was all for the greater good. Therefore the ends justify the means. “Our course will seem too bloody, Caius Cassius,To cut the head off and then hack the limbs,Like wrath in death and envy afterwards,For Antony is but a limb of Caesar.Let us be sacrificers but not butchers, Caius.We all stand up against the spirit of Caesar,”
Share With a Friend
9. Ask a friend or family member to read your essay. Challenge that person to find at least two areas for improvement. List your friend or family member’s suggestions here.
Final Read Through
10. Read your essay aloud to yourself. Check for errors one last time.
Final Draft
11. Paste your final draft here.
Brutus loved Rome and did not want to see it fall and crumple at the hands of Julius Caesar, therefore he was a patriot because of his actions. "Romans, countrymen, and lovers! Hear me for my cause, and be silent that you may hear: Believe me for my honor and have respect for mine honor that you may believe." Brutus is trying to get the townspeople to believe he is a great person and noble being, but Brutus Stabbed Caesar in the back- killing him. Brutus explains that, in order to save Rome from the dictatorship it is becoming, they must kill Caesar. But in order to be safe they cannot kill Marc Anthony or they will appear to be cold blooded killers in the eyes of the people, rather than the defenders of the country. Turning against Caesar for a second time, Brutus helped organize the build up to Caesars assassination.
II. An excerpt from the reading stated that, Caesar looks at Brutus as Brutus stabs him and says "To you, Brutus!" Although Brutus and Caesar seemed to be good friends, Brutus betrayed him. After Caesar was killed Brutus explained to Marc what had happened, telling him he had to be okay with it. He stabbed him because he thought it was for the good of Rome, not gaining anything for himself. Cassius fed Brutus lies and hateful thoughts so it was Cassius' fault.
III. Brutus is a patriot, he didn’t want to see Rome fall in the hands of Julius Caesar. Of course he had to take many drastic actions to do so, but it was all for the greater good. Therefore the ends justify the means. “Our course will seem too bloody, Caius Cassius,To cut the head off and then hack the limbs,Like wrath in death and envy afterwards,For Antony is but a limb of Caesar.Let us be sacrificers but not butchers, Caius.We all stand up against the spirit of Caesar,”
Reflection
12. Write your reflection paragraph here. You are done!
I believe that overall this is a good essay, I worked really hard on it. I made sure to add a lot of information about the back story so the readers had a pretty good idea about what happened before, but wanted to not add too much. Also, I thought it was important to add claims and counterclaims so the reader could see both sides.
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