4 Mat Book Review Worthington

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LIBERTY BAPTIST THEOLOGICAL SEMINARY

4-MAT BOOK REVIEW

STRENGTHENING MARITAL INTIMACY

BY RONALD E. HAWKINS

A PAPER SUBMITTED TO DR. JOESPH M. WOLSTENCROFT

IN PARTIAL FULFILLMENT OF THE REQUIREMENTS FOR

THE COURSE PACO 603

PREMARITAL AND MARITAL COUNSELING

BY
DAVID M LOWE
30 JANUARY 2013

TABLES OF CONTENT

Introduction…………………………………………………………………………..3

Summary……………………………………………………………………………..3

Concrete Response…………………………………………………………………5

Reflections…………………………………………………………………………...5

Application…………………………………………………………………………...6

Conclusion……………………………………………………………………………6

Bibliography………………………………………………………………………….7

Introduction
Most couples get married with the idea that they will somehow live a blissful happy ever after life. Most never realize that the wedding is only a ceremony, a snapshot in time of overwhelming joy and exhilaration soon to lose its luster to the dross of selfishness and many other relationship killers. Marriage, on the other hand is a marathon not a sprint, a lifetime of two people intentionally working to live together and become one. God proclaimed to the first man that he, “shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” (Gen 2:24) God’s intent for marriage is intimacy. The Hebrew word used here in Genesis is (דָּבַק, dabaq , daw-bak), which simply means to cling or adhere to. Couples are commanded by God to get to know one another in a special closeness to the point they are as “one flesh.” Adam’s sin caused God to pronounce a curse on the intimacy of the relationship that would affect couples until this day. God pronounced a curse upon the relationship between Adam and Eve. (Gen 3:16). It may be debated exactly what the curse meant, but it is clear that the dynamic of the relationship between man and woman had now changed. Ronald Hawkins in his book, “Strengthening Martial Intimacy” lays out a biblical based roadmap on how to regain and strengthen the intimacy within marriage. Summary

Hawkins concepts for strengthening the intimacy within marriage is overtly Christian but holds benefit for non-Christian couples alike. He is clear right up front that the answer to a “strong marriage” is found in the word of God. He holds the belief that great marriages require work and do not happen by accident . Hawkins asserts that intimacy and commitment are the framework for building strong marriages. Intimacy as describe by him is “oneness with a healthy separateness.” Hawkins lays a solid foundation for God’s design for intimate marriages and points to intimacy as the goal of marriage within the first two chapters. He then spends the rest of the book, nine chapters worth expounding on commitment: commitment to wisdom directives, commitment to reality, commitment to God’s sovereignty, commitment to the other person, commitment to the control and enjoyment of sexuality, commitment to communication, and commitment to companioning. Hawkins believes that male and female were created to function as a team and share in the joys of God. Satan drove a wedge between them and Christ is the wedge remover who restores the original intention of God. In looking at intimacy as the goal of marriage he first dispels some commonly flawed ideas about intimacy. According to Hawkins’s intimacy is not a surrendering of one’s personality and uniqueness. No mate has the right to try and remake their spouse like them for God has made each to be distinct in their own way. Hawkins teaches that men must value their wives and not to reduce them to a non-contributor in the relationship . Hawkins’s undoubtedly considers commitment the major ingredient for strengthening marital intimacy as he dedicates the majority of the book to the subject. Commitment is foundational to a marriage. Hawkins expresses commitment as the, binding or pledging of oneself to a particular course of action. Unforgiveness is one of many roadblocks discussed by...
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