Who Needs Love? In Japan, Many Couples Don’t

19-Who Needs Love? In Japan, Many Couples Don’t

In the article, “Who Needs Love! In Japan, Many Couples Don’t” it talks about how low the divorce rate is in Japan compared to other countries. In Japan there are about 24 divorces for every 100 marriages, where as the United States has about 55 divorces. “It does not seem that Japanese families survive because husbands and wives love each other more than American couples, but rather because they perhaps love each other less” (Kristoff 96). Its kind of like a low risk, low reward relationship compared to a high risk, high reward relationship which is most commonly found in the United States. It states how Japanese marriages consist of low expectations, patience, and shame. “I didn’t know my husband very well when we married…time passed…now Mrs. Hirowaki has been married 34 years, and she complains about young people who do not stick to their vows” (Kristoff 97). They feel as if younger folks get divorces because they don’t have enough “gaman” or not enough drive to push through the hard times and stay true to their vows. Most people would this idea of marriage where you love less extremely stupid. As for me, not all of the ideas of a Japanese marriage make sense, but some I definitely agree with. I feel that the idea of “raman” could help save a lot of marriages because in the United States everyone looks for a perfect relationship rather than building one. “It’s never just one side that’s at fault…maybe the husband had an affair because his wife wasn’t so hot herself (Kristoff 97). Having an affair is a big red flag to me, but when an issue happens in a marriage, both sides are responsible for the issue, it should never be a one sided issue. Overall, the belief of having low expectations, patience, and shame in a successful relationship makes no sense to me. Although, we can learn from parts of these so called positive relationships to make marriages in the United States more successful. This article reminds me of a collegiate athlete, for example a football player. In a Japanese marriage it’s almost like a job and that’s what the life of a football player is like. In a Japanese marriage, the husband and wives spend very little time together. A football player spends very little time with their own family because he has school, practice, workouts, film study, and homework. Its almost like football players don’t really need to come home. “A national survey found that 30 percent of fathers spend less than 15 minutes a day on weekends talking with or playing with their children” (Kristoff 97). A Japanese father barely sees his family because he is always working, which is similar to a football player that is constantly busy. Japanese wives don’t ever leave their husbands even though they are never home because they could never be able to fund themselves just like how football players continue to get support from their family. Their family pays for their school, books for school and the equipment needed to play football.