The 3 Chairs Coaching Approach
The Three Chairs Method of Coaching
By Vivien Pau (email: vivienpau@yahoo.com.hk)
Case Study- Working with a Client who was unhappy about her job and wanted to quit I asked the Client to work on first about her workload. She had complained that her boss gave her too much work and responsibilities which she does not want or could not handle. Prior to the 3 Chairs exercise, I had helped her built on her self-confidence and positivity by doing the Gratitude Journal and the Achievement Journal for a month – they seemed to have boosted her self-esteem, she had become more positive, cheerful and less emotional. In the 3 Chairs exercise, it was interesting that she said in the Positive Chair that actually she wanted all the work because they were new, interesting developmental projects and they helped her and the company to grow! And actually she wanted to do the work herself! What’s more, if she really did not want to do the work, she could any time tell her boss and he would not force it on her! It was such a surprise and a dramatic turn-around! At the end, the Client became much more self-aware and accountable for her own decisions and situation. She did not feel like a ‘victim’ of the environment her boss put her into. The next is she wanted to act more ‘professional’ with her boss meaning less emotional and more rational and objective. So I asked her to do a 3 Chairs exercise about the issue. In the Negative Chair, it came to light that she acted emotional because she felt her boss was not being a good role model, was kind of a hypocrite – ‘pretending to be democratic’ by asking them to make the decisions but actually wants them to follow his wishes. Her ‘emotional’ behaviour (like showing him her obvious displeasure) was her way to express her disapproval, her way to tell her boss he should not or could not continue to ‘manipulate us’. When this was surfaced, she could in the Positive Chair tell herself what she could do instead in more professional and ‘mature’
By Vivien Pau (email: vivienpau@yahoo.com.hk)
Case Study- Working with a Client who was unhappy about her job and wanted to quit I asked the Client to work on first about her workload. She had complained that her boss gave her too much work and responsibilities which she does not want or could not handle. Prior to the 3 Chairs exercise, I had helped her built on her self-confidence and positivity by doing the Gratitude Journal and the Achievement Journal for a month – they seemed to have boosted her self-esteem, she had become more positive, cheerful and less emotional. In the 3 Chairs exercise, it was interesting that she said in the Positive Chair that actually she wanted all the work because they were new, interesting developmental projects and they helped her and the company to grow! And actually she wanted to do the work herself! What’s more, if she really did not want to do the work, she could any time tell her boss and he would not force it on her! It was such a surprise and a dramatic turn-around! At the end, the Client became much more self-aware and accountable for her own decisions and situation. She did not feel like a ‘victim’ of the environment her boss put her into. The next is she wanted to act more ‘professional’ with her boss meaning less emotional and more rational and objective. So I asked her to do a 3 Chairs exercise about the issue. In the Negative Chair, it came to light that she acted emotional because she felt her boss was not being a good role model, was kind of a hypocrite – ‘pretending to be democratic’ by asking them to make the decisions but actually wants them to follow his wishes. Her ‘emotional’ behaviour (like showing him her obvious displeasure) was her way to express her disapproval, her way to tell her boss he should not or could not continue to ‘manipulate us’. When this was surfaced, she could in the Positive Chair tell herself what she could do instead in more professional and ‘mature’