Impact of Divorce on Children

The Impact of Divorce on Children under Eighteen
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Liberty University

Abstract
Today, practically everyone knows someone who has been divorced. It is sad, but true. Nearly half of all marriages in the United States today end in divorce. As recently as the 1990’s, nearly fifteen million children faced the life-changing crisis of a divorce. Most of these children were under eight years of age. Approximately one million new children each year go through divorce. According to the 2010 US Bureau of the Census data collection, more than half of school-age children will have spent substantial time living with a single parent or in a stepfamily. Children of divorced families may suffer life-long mental issues resulting from childhood experiences. This research paper will focus on the biosocial, cognitive, psychosocial, and spiritual impacts of divorce that can be placed upon children under the age of eighteen. The results of this study are to help counselors to assist children in their time of need.
Keywords: children, divorce, families

The Impact of Divorce on Children under Eighteen It may be help for us to understand something about divorce and the typical effects it has on families. The divorce rate of first marriages in the United States is at fifty percent. That is the highest in the world. Second marriages has a rate even higher, it is sixty-seven percent. Even with these high numbers, the divorce rate is declining slightly. No one is sure why, but there are several theories. Some are that many people cannot afford a divorce and many people cannot afford to marry. The most probable reason appears to be that the majority of people that are married today are “baby boomers” who are well past the prevalent age of divorce which are the twenty’s and thirty’s. Divorce itself is associated with an increase in depression. When divorce occurs there are several things that happen: loss of your partner, loss of hopes and dreams, and the lifestyle that the family was a custom to be is also lost. Divorce sets in motion a chain of events that affect the family irreversibly (Hartnup 1996). The first area of study will be the biosocial effects that children will face and go through. There are two large aspects of divorce that greatly impact the biosocial effects with children. The first aspect is that ninety percent of divorced mothers have custody of their children. The second aspect is that approximately sixty percent of people under the poverty guidelines are divorced women and children. These two aspects cause multiple problems. A divorce almost automatically leads to a reduced standard of living, primarily for single mothers (Bracke, Gouwy, & Wauterickx, N. 2006). This in turn normally has the mothers finding jobs or working more hours at their current job. Now that the mother is at work they now have less time, quality time, with her children. Mothers are also, at times, forced to move from their home due to financial reasons. Children that have to cope with a new home, new neighborhood, new people, and unfamiliar surroundings, all lead to problems with stress with most children. This reduced life style also affects the children in a number of areas other than these. The most significant area is the possibility, over time, in terms of proper nutrition. This can lead to poor physical health on top of the emotional stress that children of divorce must contend with. Other areas that can be lost to children are involvement in extracurricular activities, designer clothing, and school choices. Bottom line is: When parents’ divorce, children suffer injuries that can last a lifetime, (Lewis and Sammons 2001). A growing body of research and clinical evidence concludes that the effects of divorce are long lasting and carry over into the partnerships formed in adulthood by children of divorce, (Hartnup 1996). The second area of this study will be the cognitive effects. The children of divorce perform worse in respect of problem behavior, academic performance, and psychological distress, (Masci 2001). This statement has continued to be true over the years to include new issues that children must face. Children of divorce scored lower on measures of academic success, conduct, psychological adjustment, social competence, and health, (Portnoy, 2008). More specifically, children of divorced parents tend to drop out of school earlier, are less inclined to attend higher education, and in general are less educated, (Bracke, Gouwy, & Wauterickx, 2006). This is not helped by the fact that as mentioned earlier, due to the lack of finances, the family has to move, which normally means a new school as well as unfamiliar surroundings and no friends. There are also times when children will do certain things to gain attention. Many behavioral manifestations can be very adaptive to immediate circumstances. A decrease in academic performance, for example, usually elicits attention and help at a time when the child is feeling needy (Johnston, 1994). We must also remember that true feelings and thoughts about a divorce are in regards to children. Parental divorce is taken personally by the children. They think that they are to blame and are afraid that they may lose contact with their parents. Guilt commonly leads to feelings of not being good enough, especially when one parent is less involved in the child's life after the divorce, (Lewis and Sammons 2001). Children will often think, “Why do Mom and Dad not want to be with me? What did I do?” Because so much marital conflict may be related to the stress of parenting, children often feel responsible for their parents' divorce. They feel that somehow their behavior contributed to it. The biggest positive cognitive effect that can assist a child to adjust to life after divorce depends on just how well the parents handle themselves during the divorce in relation to the child. The number one thing parents should do is, do everything possible to ensure that their children in no way feel responsible for the family’s breakup (Masci, 2001). Parents must do this over and over again to make sure their children understand. . The children who succeed after divorce have parents who can communicate effectively and work together as parents. The third area of this study is in regards to the psychosocial effects. This seems to be the most significant area that can affect a child of divorced parents. Divorce is unquestionably a risk factor for psychological problems during childhood and into adulthood (Portnoy 2008). Where gender differences have been investigated, boys tend to show more overt behavioral disturbance and girls tend to have more covert emotional disturbance. In other words, the boys would get in trouble at school, fight with peers and argue with parent. Girls would tend to become depressed, develop headaches, and change their eating and sleeping habits. In one study in Wisconsin, it found that juvenile incarceration rates were twelve times higher among children whose parents had divorced (Masci, 2001). A divorce can start a chain reaction that will irreversibly affect a family. These events are accompanied by short term psychological reactions in children which, in over one third of cases of children without previous psychological problems, have long term developmental effects akin to those resulting from traumatic experiences (Hartnup, 1996). A history of physical aggression in the family was strongly and consistently associated with emotional, behavioral, and social problems in children (Johnston, 1994). Among all the reactions of children of divorce, conduct disorders, antisocial behavior, and difficulty with authorities produce the largest deleterious effects, (Portnoy, 2008). These children are two to three time more likely to engage in adolescent delinquent behavior than peers from intact families. Children's behavior may signal major difficulties if it leads to a "downward spiral" of persistent academic failure, disciplinary problems, or destructive peer group associations. Red flags should also go up when the behavior solidifies into a fixed pattern that does not change in response to changing circumstances or places the child at immediate risk of severe depression, suicidal thoughts, or drug or alcohol abuse (Lewis and Sammons 2001). Once these children have become adolescents, they are more likely to consume alcohol more often and in larger amounts. They are also more likely to use drugs or become alcoholics.
Anger and hostility is another issue that may come about during or after a divorce. Children night express these feelings toward their peers, siblings, or parents. Hostility toward the parents is usually directed at the parent that the child believes is at fault for the divorce. Hostility that is turned inward often gives the impression of depression in children. Examples of depression are lethargy, sleep and eating disturbances, acting out, social withdrawal, or even physical injury. Children will often act out in ways which force their parents to interact (negatively or positively). This is in the hopes that the parents may reconcile. In certain studies where standardized measures of maladjustment were reported, these children scored as significantly more disturbed and were two to four times more likely to have the kinds of adjustment problems typically seen in children being treated for emotional and behavioral disturbance as compared with national norms (Johnston, 1994). Nevertheless, there are studies that also describe increased emotional distress and the inability to commit to relationships. The absence of both parents together giving a good image negatively influences their search for love, intimacy, and commitment. Another area that causes great stress and possible depression in children during a divorce is the battle for custody. When around younger children and discussing the subject of custody, we must choose our words carefully. It is best to talk privately to the parent and not in front of the children. The reason behind this is the child mind the word "custody," for example, seems to imply that children are simply property in the charge of a "custodian," a title children are most likely to recognize as describing the person who sweeps the floors and cleans the bathrooms at school (Lewis and Sammons 2001). As mentioned in an earlier section, many families must move to a new home. When this occurs the children can lose access to teachers and peer groups. This event is very traumatizing to a child for they lose an important part of their support network. Children cope better with divorce when they have a broad support network. Parents should do everything they can to maintain their children's friendships and their relationships with extended family.
The final area we are going to look at is that of the Spiritual aspect that can effect a child of divorced parents. In two separate locations, Church as a social setting should be kept in the child’s life after a divorce of their parents. This is due to the extended family aspect to have others they can talk to and obtain support. There is no better place to obtain support than the church. It is said that the greatest casualty of divorce is often the child's trust in what parents say. In a spiritual frame of mind, heart, and soul, there is no greater person to turn to than God. As children move through new stages of social, cognitive, and sexual development, they revisit issues raised by the divorce and must resolve them anew (Lewis and Sammons 2001). By keeping God centered in your life anything that is placed before you is no longer a challenge that can now be faced with courage. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me (Philippians 4:13 NKJV), Parents who don't allow children to express their anger over the divorce silence the children and put their relationship with them in jeopardy. The constant in all this is the child's continued struggle to maintain a meaningful relationship with both parents. A good parent-child relationship is the best predictor of good outcomes in children (Johnston, 1994). Children’s responses should be considered during the aftermath of divorce, and how well a child is functioning or not functioning should not be based on a parent’s need or self-interest to perceive fewer negative effects (Moon, 2011). There is truly no other place that you can be heard than the house of the Lord. Parents should guide their children to the Lord. But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord (Joshua 24:15 NKJV).

References
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Hartnup, T. (1996). Divorce and marital strife and their effects on children, The Journal of the British Paediatric Association, 1-3, Retrieved from EBSCOhost
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Princeton University, retrieved from http://www.jstor.org/stable/1602483

Lewis J and Sammons W. (2001). Helping children survive divorce. Contemporary Pediatrics, 18.3, 103-114. Retrieved from General OneFile, http://galegroup.com.ezproxy.liberty.edu:2048/ps/i.do?id=GALE%7CA72698971&v=2.1&u=vic_liberty&it=r&p=ITOF&sw=w
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