How to survive a zombie apocalypse
Zombies, do they exist? Can there be actual zombies roaming around on the streets, ready to make anyone and everyone who comes in sight a zombie? Well, Hollywood thinks so. The reason I'm basing this theory of 'can zombies be real' or the fact that zombies can one day roam amongst us (eventually destroying mankind), is because they are the biggest influence in our lives. Don't believe me? Then I guess the long list of zombie movies might help you change your perspective. Their ideology of assuring us into believing that the concept of 'zombies' or 'zombie apocalypse is real' is quite believable. And movies like Resident Evil, Dawn of the Dead, and 28 Days Later are perfect examples of such an event. Each of these movies has groups of people who are trying to get to a safe place, away from all these zombies. But there isn't any guide or rules that they can follow while they're on this road to freedom. It's just one step at a time (and some of them get eaten in the process as well). So, there should be a guide which tells them how to survive if such an apocalypse ever occurred. In order to get infected by a zombie, you need to be bitten, or bite one of them, although I have no idea why you would ever want to. The saliva and blood of a zombie have the potential to infect a person and eventually turn them, so keep your mouth shut if you're the stupid one using a chainsaw. To be honest I prefer a good old fashioned flamethrower to burn those zombies where they stand.
How about an idea; perhaps someone can read this article (a movie director) and magically keeps a few copies of it in the movie for the actors to find. Alright, alright, that was not a good joke. So let's move past that and get a bit serious. But before we do get to the specific rules to keep yourself safe from a zombie apocalypse, I'd like to divert your attention to yet another movie, Zombieland (by the way, I think it's one of the best zombie movies of all time), It's funny, intelligently made, and the cast is small, but perfect. If you have seen the movie, then you'll find some of those rules implemented here as well. And if you didn't get the opportunity to watch this classic movie, then may I suggest, please do so. And with that small note, we will proceed towards our golden rules to survive a zombie apocalypse. What is a zombie?
There are multiple definitions of the word zombie. The dictionary defines zombie as "an animated corpse that feeds on living flesh." Other sources define zombie as "One who moves or acts as if in a daze" or "a member of Congress" or "a Voodoo snake god." While snake gods are interesting, this how-to article will deal with only the first and second definitions of zombie. While Chavs were once thought to be zombies it has been recently proven that it is not the case. It would be an insult to zombies if they were even contemplated to be in the same category as Chavs. Such contemplators were subsequently eaten. Types of zombies
There are twelve types of zombies. They will be listed with a little fact about them: 1. Horde zombies are dangerous to combat effectively. They require much more potent weaponry to approach with confidence, but are easier to flee and avoid. 2. Grue Zombies, grues who have (somehow) died and became zombies. There is really no way to kill grue zombies unless you have Chuck Norris or can successfully pull off the shoop da whoop. 3. Camper zombies, zombies who hide and wait for prey, are the other common type. Campers hide in darkened corridors, side rooms, and even in the drywall. They prefer to wait for their prey to come near and then burst out and seize the victim. 4. Fast Zombies are some of your most dreaded enemies when facing legions of the undead. Fast Zombies can vary in many ways, but the main item is that their entire physique (i.e. rotting of fat, skin, veins, and organs.) is morphed to allow them to strike fast. The majority of fast zombies have...
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